Hello Everyone,

It's the fifteenth of December, which has always been a sort of deadline for me and Christmas cards. Usually they're all mailed out by this time.

Not this year. I even had thoughts of not bothering this year. After all, this isn't going to be a cheery letter. But I thought you all might want to know what's going on with "THE TRIAD" this year, and silence is worse than anything.

But stick with me. The message isn't all one of dispair.

About two years ago, we meant a young lady named Shayna Gray. Originally she'd called, asking about making her a cape. She got Julia on the line, and if you've met Julia, you know SHE'S TALKATIVE. The call lasted about an hour, in which Julia told her the history of our lives, I think.

At any rate, Shayna thought she could find friends in us, and one night she called us in despair over some jerk boyfriend of hers. Eventually we introduced her to another friend of ours, and it looked like she was going to hit it off real well with John. So Laura encouraged the relationship, and before we knew it, they were moving into a house together. All sunshine and delight, it was for the first couple of months. Then reality hit in, and they knew they'd made a big mistake. The fighting was horrendous.

Laura felt quite guilty, after all, she was the one who had encouraged them. She got to know Shayna while teaching her to drive, and discovered some of the things John had said of her just wasn't true. She became quite captivated with her charms and thought we could help her get her life on track.

So Shayna spent more and more time here until she became family. It wasn't long after that we built an outdoor shelter (remember all you northern folks: it doesn't get so cold here in the winter) for her cats, and she joined our household.

She grew a lot. We all were proud of her when she got her GED diploma and gave the class speech. Later, she became a student at the community college here. She worked hard at her classes, and indeed was happier than she'd ever been in her life. Seven months had gone by, and things were going well, except one of her cats became sick and dehydrated. Shayna couldn't find the hydration equipment that she still had from another cat that had fallen ill earlier. We told her it was in the library. The next thing we knew, she was running out the door, telling us she'd be back.

The hours went by, and she hadn't returned. The three of us couldn't figure out what had happened. Late at night, Julia and I gave up and went to bed, while Laura napped on the couch, waiting for her. There'd be some angry words for her when she got back.

We'd all settled into an uneasy sleep, when there was a knock on the door. Two policeman bade Laura "SIT DOWN", and she grew weak in the knees. "There's been an accident. The driver lost control of the vehicle going at high speeds down a dirt road. The vehicle rolled several times and hit a telephone pole." The blood from her wounds uncongealed, she died instantly.

That fatal car trip took place a week ago today. Since then, we've pieced out from clues where she was heading. Down that dirt road, where it becomes paved, is a SMALL ANIMAL CLINIC. It closed at 5:30, and Shayna was rushing like mad to get there in hopes of obtaining hydration supplies before then. She never arrived there.

The past week has been hard. Laura and I, with Serena, Shayna's Mother, have been going through all her things, determining what to keep and what goes to Goodwill. We're getting through it, though, and know it will get better with time.

During our seven months with Shayna, she learned from us, and we learned from her. Some were small things, like the benefits of PAPAYA pills for digestion, and cocoa butter for chafing. And some were big things. She learned to have better self esteem and be a happier person, having had to battle depression since a young girl.

Her life held so much potential, before it was cut short when she was only twenty-nine.

I'd like to share with you a moment I had yesterday:

The bouncy upbeat music of Angelique Kidjo entertained me, as I was getting back into sewing. This used to be Shayna's album. One time I told her it was my most favorite of her albums, and somehow she took it to mean I didn't like the rest of her music. But I really do like the catchy tunes, and had marked a mental note to send for a disc of my own from BMG music.

The lyrics of one of the songs made me drop what I was sewing on, so applicable they were:

(From NEVER KNOW) Inner peace or private war Lose the key Just when you find the door. 'Cause you never know what you've got Till it's gone Mondji irorun kossi mon ééé 'Cause you never know what you've lost Till it's found Irorun, irorun, irorun egbamin o

Just when you find the door: Shayna was just starting to learn she wasn't from the dark side, as her negative self view had previously made her think. One movie she saw back in spring really made her think. She wrote an article about The Matrix, and its hero, Neo, who had beaten the system, by believing in a greater truth. (It's a science fiction movie in which the reality everyone believes to exist turns out to be just a virtual computer program into which they're all plugged.) Consider her words after seeing The Matrix: "We, however, each and every one of us, with our own mind and regardless of our individual situation, CAN choose, for ourselves, WHAT OUR REALITY WILL BE LIKE FOR US." She could choose happiness.

Then she lost the key. Did she think "If I chose to, perhaps, I could run up walls, stop bullets, levitate, self-heal wounds, etc ..."? Did she think, by mere force of will, she could take a lightweight car and go high speeds on a dirt road, with no consequence? There are some aspects of reality that can't be changed. She lost.

'Cause you never know what you've got Till it's gone: I didn't fully understand Shayna until she was gone. We had set to's on occasion, and it would take time for a deeper friendship to grow. Only we didn't have that time.

'Cause you never know what you've lost Till it's found: Laura and I had in the past year missed many opportunities for closeness. We had a tearful conversation yesterday morning. "Just why do you think I was so happy to spend all those hours with Shayna? For one thing, you had abandoned me to the computer. I saw more of your back than your face." Hard words that made me cry, when I thought about them later that morning. Yesterday afternoon I came to Laura, tearful. "Give me a hug," I begged. We then sat down together and re-affirmed our love. Laura's healing touch to my receptivity, and we knew joy again. What we've found, we know now just how valuable it is. We embraced each other gratefully. I'll not be wasting hours when I can spend time with Laura and Julia. One thing Shayna's death has taught me, we never know just how much time we have with those we love. I don't want to lose any more chances. I've found the door, and I won't lose the key.

That's what I want to share with you all. Embrace all the ones you love and enjoy your days with them.