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The Cauldron of Change
The cauldron of change,
into it, what do I put?
What pieces of action,
thought, aimed Will,
what will bring about the alchemy?
Life changing stuff here,
not wispy wishes
and worn clichés -
Hard Will and hard test.
I will not know how strong I am
until I am tested.
And yet I need to learn to be my own tester,
push my own boundaries,
push against my limitations,
all my 'I can'ts',
all that would keep me from my goals,
constraints more self made than any.
Fear, doubt,
who said
'Fear is the mind killer'
should add 'Fear is the soul killer',
If I stand on the precipice
and let it consume me.
But I can't fear fear.
That must go into the cauldron, as well,
along with all my dreams and hopes.
And therein, with my long desire,
I stir and stir and stir.
I think now, now is the only time to act.
I act from this moment based on how I acted in the last.
flame to flame to flame are the moments of consciousness.
But to strengthen the flame,
that is the goal of my Will and Xeper.
To break down my barriers,
my limitations.
If I can't go through a wall,
I will go around that wall.
I will get across,
and I know it will take every ounce of Will,
pointing, stirring, every moment.
Is that all it is,
raw determination of brute force?
Ah, but something else enters the cauldron,
and it indeed is of Mystery.
I declare my intention,
and unseen forces enter their gifts into the cauldron.
I do not struggle alone.
I cannot know all that goes into it,
I just am grateful.
But I am the one who stirs the pot,
who tastes the result,
and maybe who can share the result.
What will I cook up?
Today's recipe will not do for tomorrow.
I'll find a rare spice, perhaps,
I cannot know.
Meanwhile, I tend my cauldron pot,
and stir, stir, stir.
Today's dreams,
maybe tomorrows realities.
JAL, 10-9-06
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