Refining the Defining of Self
August 28, 2004

I got out a favorite book again, and reread some of the pages, trying to understand them with the perspective of a year later. Don Webb's Essential Guide to the Left Hand Path was a most valuable one the first year I was first attracted to LHP. However, with the passage of time, my understanding evolves and today I took my own catagorizations of the self and examined how they fit into Webb's 'surface, medial, core, and daimonic' levels. 'Charlie/Deep Self' is Daimonic. I've learned his energies are the fount of all my creative endeavors and the Essense that survives death.

'Queen Illuminaria/Parent' is Core. She realizes the virtue in the Xeper concept. She has an eye to the Objective Universe and to the Subjective Universe as well. She tries to view her own subjective self objectively, trying to see herself as others might, in a sort of 'stepping outside of self to look at self'. She's the one that 'pulls the switches' to 'channel' the Daimonic energies. Don Webb says the core self doesn't change. Xeper means changes, so rightly I understood it when I intuited that the Xeper goes on within the Daimonic Self. Don Webb also says the Core self is undestructible. He would be saying this aspect also survives death. I have to think about this some more to understand it better.


''Illuminaria Looks Outside...''

If core self doesn't change, then it is not attached to transient things such as the entity which calls itself 'Joan Lansberry'. It is the focuser between the worlds, the 'parent', so, yes, not being of 'surface Ego', she will go along with 'Charlie' into next life. This could be why I was drawn during my early attraction to LHP to name these aspects of myself, recognizing these aspects as more substantial.

I've been calling Medial self my 'surface' self. It is the daily thought mill, and it is interesting to examine this in an objective manner. What thoughts play over and over and why? Certainly, this is where 'bad programming' plays, ie 'I'm too fat, I'm too shy, I'll never do X, I can't', etc. etc. It's also where good programming plays as when, when we change the focus of our thoughts, thus elliciting happiness and being more the masters of our emotions. I don't know as I could force myself to produce an unnatural emotion, as some suggest in order to better understand how we can become master of our emotions. Laughing at a funeral, or going to a scary movie and laughing, I don't know about that. I certainly do know, however, that where I put my mind is what I get. If I focus on insecurities, I become more insecure. If I focus on Xeper, I tend to have more productive thoughts.

Surface self is what ever act of the moment. It seems in my catagorization, I just lumped this in with medial self. But it is the acts of the moment that in the totality determine the character of our lives. Core self/Illuminaria has decided to Xeper. Surface self then makes the decision whether to watch an educational DVD about the origins of life or watch a DVD movie 'Dumb and Dumber'.

Don Webb also goes on to explain how the cosmos, or objective universe, also has these same four subdivisions. I recommend the book highly to you if you wish to gain a deeper understanding of reality. May growth be your process and portion. Or as I prefer to say, "Xeper!"

(Note of September 16, 2004)
Those of us in 'modern times' weren't the first to analyze and catagorize the various parts of the Self. The Ancient Egyptians did, as well. Now exact correspondences between their views and ours might not exist. Still, that in myself which I've first called 'Prince Charlie', later recognized to be 'Daimonic aspect', may be considered the 'BA', the 'becoming active principle'. And 'Queen Illuminaria', the 'core aspect' and in the 'Parent' role, may somewhat fit the 'KA', or 'ideal of perfection' which serves as 'conscience'.

As the mythology goes, at death, the heart is weighed against the feather of Ma'at, resulted recorded by Thoth, and if the heart is light, then these two aspects can be united into the 'Akh' and thus survive death.

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