Slowly And In Pieces
January 5, 2004
5:30am

I awoke to a 'message' I struggled to remember, ''Enlightment will come, but slowly and in pieces.''

Who is the giver of these messages? Is 'The Mystery' not a Goddess, but a Process? Everytime I ask for a sign, there is a sign. I ask for a gen-u-wine historically accurate image of Set for my altar, and I get one.

Magical Process it may well be. Then, indeed, I am Lady to Lord Set. Does 'The Mystery' have a personality? Do I supply the personality by invoking whatever archetype? Can that personality be just plain Joan?

It's all 'deep thoughts' hazy, not distinct, slowly coming into view, and as my half dreaming self told me, ''Enlightment will come, but slowly and in pieces.''

I must be patient.

But it is hard to be patient. Which is precisely why I must direct my energies to learning patience.

''Enlightment will come, but slowly and in pieces.''

(later note of this evening:)

Nevertheless, I grow impatient. So damned impatient. And an ancient Dark Presence I love is laughing. Laughing! He is enjoying Himself. At my expense. I ask WHY the laughing.

He says 'Because it is only in such frustration that I grow.'

Yes, I did sign up for the 'growth plan'. I did.

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