Part Nine

Migration of the Mind

Joan Lansberry

April 27, 1997

We made a discovery this weekend that has extended our world quite a bit. Yesterday, I took some time off from sewing and went with Laura to get her some arrows. We went into Mesa, as the wooden arrows the SCA requires are cheaper there. On the way back, I saw a tall marquee that listed "Ross" and "Barnes and Noble", signifying they sell things we like: books and clothes! Laura went off the highway to examine. What we found was several shopping centers filled with all sorts of delightful stores and restaurants, in an upscale area far enough away from Phoenix pollution and traffic. We stopped at a dessert shop, had some peanut butter frozen yogurt and shared a piece of yummy black bottom cheesecake.

Today we returned to Ahwatukee with Julia and showed her our discovery. The Barnes and Noble's features an elegant entrance with a giant wooden door and a foyer with a very high ceiling like a English manor house. I didn't think I would find anything there, but came home with three things. A large book with many photos of places in Ireland and lengthy descriptions of each will educate me. A book of spiritual poetry called Earth Prayers will feed my soul. And a collection of cards with roses will be handy to use as all occasion cards. Julia found a book about the Hebrew Goddess by Raphael Patai that she'd been wanting for a long time.

We made a haul at Ross'. Laura found four new pairs of pants, two dark green and two black; Julia found two skirts, one blue denim and one with a print in rose and gold tones. And I brought home an off-white blouse with pastel floral embroidery. All those clothes only cost seventy-eight dollars!

We finished the excursion with a delicious meal. We ate at Sweet Tomatoes, an all you-can-eat buffet style restaurant. I had caesar salad, an oriental green leaf salad with bits of chicken, three bean salad, turkey curry noodle salad, a small baked potato topped with sour cream and chives, and pizza! I topped that off with a dessert of chocolate and vanilla swirl frozen yogurt and hot homemade style muffins with melted chocolate chips all through them. Gluttony, thy name is Joan! I enjoyed each mouthful!

April 29, 1997

Yesterday, while reading the May/June issue of Utne Reader, I came across an interview with Pema Chodron, one of the first Western women to take full Buddhist monastic vows. The interviewer, Bell Hooks, said this of her: "Pema, who is director of Gampo Abbey in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, is fast emerging as a teacher of spirit who draws seekers to the flame of spiritual delight even as she uncompromisingly turns up the heat." Here is a clipping from the interview:

Bell: How do you develop compassion toward yourself? Pema: A big part of compassion is being honest with yourself, not shielding yourself from your mistakes as if nothing had happened. And the other big component is being gentle. This is what meditation is about, but obviously it goes beyond sitting on a meditation cushion. You begin to see your moods and your attitudes and your opinions. You begin to hear this voice, your voice, and how it can be so critical of self and others. There is growing clarity about all the different parts of yourself. Meditation gives you the tools to look at all of this clearly, with an unbiased attitude. A lot of having compassion toward yourself is staying with the initial thought or arising of emotion. This means that when you see yourself being aggressive,, or stuck in self-pity, or whatever it might be, then you train again and again in not adding things on top of that--guilt or self-justification or any further negatives. You work on not spinning off and being kinder toward the human condition as you see it in yourself.

This quote seems especially instructive. Laura and Julia are currently working on a section of our website devoted to transgendered womens' concerns. One topic right now is depression. Having known both depression and anxiety in my life, I have learned compassion towards myself is the most important tool in dealing with these painful emotions. Pema describes so well the process of compassion.

May 1, 1997

A certain Federico Perales in Texas murdered his wife because his family ate supper without him. This computer specialist for the Federal Aviation Administration stabbed his wife to death, telling her ``you did this to yourself,'' police said.

Starnet's resident man-hater Sue Dye expressed her views on the Community Front Page as follows:

Marriage an occupational hazard for women

By Sue Dye

How many women have been murdered by their husbands--even just in Tucson--in the past year? Is this a result of OJ Simpson being acquitted? Or is it such a common event that we have become immune to it? I think young women, maybe even old ones, are very foolish to get married. And the stupid legislators keep trying to make divorce harder. Women should have a right to leave husbands without getting murdered by them. I guess the problem is that men are so terribly dependent on women that they cannot cope with losing one. They also see women as their property, which quickly translates into slave, so they can murder them if they fail to be totally submissive and subservient, and don't hold dinner for them. Let's abolish marriage. Bring back immaculate conception.

This is one bitter woman. It's clear she hates men. Hating ALL men is not the solution to the problem of a few genuinely dangerous, evil men. Will Sue acknowledge that not all females are paragons of virtue, either? There is the 'black widow' who married a bunch of rich men, only to kill them all off for their money. And other such examples exist. There are those who would rescind my "feminist license" over my views. I thrill to hear about a "strong-woman-done-good" as much as any women-loving woman out there. But I can't and won't hate all men because of the crimes of a few. They would reply " You aren't properly "woman-identified". Perhaps possibly, I'm "human identified" first and foremost.

later this day...

There is great rejoicing in the Lansberry household today! Laura's beautiful purple and gray "Conquest" recurve bow has arrived in the mail today! Even without any of its accessories, which have been ordered through a local supplier, Laura shot quite well.

May 3, 1997

A correspondent of ours had something to say which brought a happy chuckle:

I have this image of Laura, a tall amazon goddess wielding a massive bow (that no mortal can draw) and firing thunderbolts at the masses of ignorance.....Susan

This visual image isn't far off!
 

May 6, 1997

I have had a great puzzle revealed to me today. One week ago, Mike Royko, the legendary columnist and voice of Chicago died of a brain aneurysm. I felt a sorrow, as I had always enjoyed his columns. I didn't always agree with him. Sometimes he could be quite the curmudgeon, and he gained quite a lot of disdain from "African-Americans and members of the gay community who took exception to some of his views. In March 1996, some 1,000 protesters gathered outside Tribune Tower demanding that Royko be fired for what they said were insulting portrayals of Mexicans in his column." (From an obituary by Jerry Crimmins and Rick Kogan, Chicago Tribune staff writers.) I found the column that the protesters responded to in the Trib's web archives. Boy, was it ever insulting. Basically, Royko said that Mexicans were hopelessly stupid and had ruined their own country and now wanted to ruin ours. I was shocked. How could I like such a foul bigot?

Yet, everyday, when I was in the Chicago 'burbs' and subscribed to the 'Trib, Royko's column would always be the first thing I read. He won nearly every journalistic prize available. Just what was so magnetic about his writings? The mystery has now been solved. Martin F. Nolan in "Royko Owned Chicago the Way Few in Media Can", an editorial that appeared in today's Arizona Daily Star, has revealed the clue.

To younger reporters seeking advice, Mike Royko was true to the Chicago tradition:

``Always have fun. Because if you don't have fun writing something, no one will ever have any fun reading it.''

This is the clue. Royko enjoyed every column he wrote. That's what made each one absolutely delicious to read, even when you hated what he said. That enjoyment is rare. In a world full of tired people pushing themselves through life, exuberant joyfulness is a precious effervescence. Its presence makes people forget for a moment the drudgery of life.

And to those that can accomplish that, the awards are plenty. Thanks, Rokyo, for having enjoyed life so!

May 8, 1997

The musical streams of unearthly luxury float hypnotically by.
I surrender to its charms.
In this dream, the Muse speaks:

RISK Why such terror at the entrance of the beautiful garden? Exotic perfume intoxicates. I want never again the plain path. I will risk any thorn. * JAL, 5-8-97

May 11, 1997

I had a delightful Mother's Day chat on the phone with my Mother. We lost track of time and just talked and talked. I learned my Uncle Benny is doing genealogical research and that I will be receiving a package with all sorts of info on my Mother's lineage.

Laura and Julia and I have been having some heady conversations as well. We often try to solve the problems of the world, as, boy, do we think we have the answers! But quite often, we hit on something eloquent. We did, last night and this morning. This morning's conversation was about connections and origins of gods. Julia spoke of the oriental religions and how they are accused of ancestor worship. I had the epiphany that true spirituality is about the sense of connectedness to all of life. If you are going to feel connected to all of what IS, then you will feel a connectedness to all that WAS. And so I with wonder and anticipation await that package!

later this day...

One of the things my Mom and I discussed on the phone was her love of airplanes and flying. This is an absolute passion with her and she tried to explain it. She is attracted to planes oddly enough because she loves nature. Birds of all types capture her imagination. The ability to fly is a magical one. Humans, through technology, have captured that magic for themselves. Being in flight, in the heavens, is a spiritual thing to her.

I have not inherited this particular fascination, but birds have always delighted me. The tiny hummingbirds, with their wings so rapid, are the most precious of all.

May 16, 1997

Flight Oh, how the heart flies, takes wing. Earthly birds can flee the heat and later, return from some northern clime. Migration of the mind has its own process. On the shores of Bright Isle all the flocklings gather: such skreeing and scrawing. JAL, 5-16-97