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October 2, 2007
I wake this morning thinking of the answer I gave to the classic question, "If you died tomorrow, what would you regret most?" As I recall my answer, Frank Sinatra is singing in my mind.
As I think about this question, I have only one regret: I wouldn't know how good I might have gotten as an artist. I might
wish I'd of started earlier to get serious about my art. After all, I turn forty nine this year, and some people think
themselves old at that age. (I don't!) But still, that's a few years gone by. But I've known love, loved deeply and been
loved in return. I've had much joy.
And I don't want to waste a moment thinking about "what if's". That line, "Life is a Moment" stays with me. I just try moment to moment to be as fully conscious as I can. Even if it's small things, like noticing the environment around me, for I am not being robotic then. At other times, I just try to do what is calling me the most. Okay, I'm easily distractable, I start books and do not finish them, etc. etc. But I remember a quote from somewhere, "Live like you were going to die tomorrow, learn like you have forever." Why this means much to me is I can be so impatient to know answers to the mysteries. That's a good prod if it keeps us awake and questing. But if it gets to a panicky "What if I'll never learn ____ in time," then it is counterproductive.
So I just try to make the most of _this moment now_, and moment by moment, that's been adding up to a very rich life.
Back to Frankie:
"Regrets, Ive had a few;
Well, I've just mentioned, but in forty nine years, that amounts to 'few'...
"But more, much more than this,
Unlike Frank, sometimes I've been 'shy'. But sometimes I've been 'bold'. And yes, always, I've done it 'my way':
"For what is a man, what has he got?
Well, I'm hoping 'no blows', but I think 'the record', (this journal 'record' I am making), definitely shows I'm doing it 'my way'.
Here's to however many moments we have in the future. Let's enjoy each of them to the fullest!
© Joan Lansberry |
