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Shayna's Graduation Speech Hello, fellow GED graduates. I don't know any of you, and you don't know me, but we have something in common: we came back and took care of unfinished business. We got our diplomas. But beyond that, I imagine every one of us has a different story of how we got here; and I'd like to share mine with you. I left high school during the first semester of the '87-'88 term, in my junior year. At first, I planned to take the GED test immediately. I had no doubts about passing, and my parents supported me. But the principal told us that I would not be allowed to take the test until after my class had graduated. And over the years, with work and moving and family problems, it just fell through the cracks. There were two reasons behind dropping out: One, to get a job and help my family; and two, to write a novel. What I didn't admit until much later was that leaving school was also an escape. Oh, not from bad grades or disciplinary problems - I maintained a 3.5+ average and was never in trouble for anything. No, I left to get away from the stigma of being everybody's dumping-ground. It was a small school, in a small town, and even the loser cliques looked down on me. In eleven years of public schooling, I had had only one friend - and that was back in kindergarten! Yeah, it was bad. I wanted a job so I could feel worthwhile, to help my family move away from Minnesota. There were three kids in my family, and I was the only one with the initiative to work. My first job was at a Pizza Hut, and it set the pattern. When we moved to Arizona in May 1989, I scoured every Apache Junction eatery and convenience store until I landed a position at a Whataburger. It was a crash course into the Arizona climate: walking two miles to work every afternoon in the summer! By fall I was promoted to shift leader, and was working twelve to fourteen-hour days. I had responsibility, I was writing, I was helping my family pay the bills; and if I didn't have time to think about where I was actually going in life, so much the better. And during this period, I became bulimic. The idea was to adopt this behavior, lose thirty or forty pounds, then drop it when I reached my goal weight. But if you've ever heard anything about eating disorders, you know that it wasn't that cut and dried. I'm obsessive-compulsive and perfectionistic. When I do anything, including learning a lethal behaviour pattern, I do it in a big way. Before the first year of this was out, I'd also become anorexic - and after a fainting spell at work where I broke a tooth, learned that these behaviours were addictive. It was downhill from there. I changed jobs, always in the minimum-wage range; I lied to my family and concealed everything; and became more and more entangled in failing health and faking functioning. The lowest point came in February of '94, when due to failing finances my father moved my mom and I into a tiny little trailer in Casa Grande. There was no way to conceal my sickness there, in such close quarters; so rather than let my mom find out about it herself by catching me bent over the toilet one day, I told her. It was the hardest moment in my whole life to that point. I was convinced she would revile me, disgusted, and throw me out. Instead, she said the words that launched me on the journey that has brought me to this point today: "Why didn't you let me help?" Although I started eating again, I wound up in the hospital on October 6th of '94, nine days before my twenty-fourth birthday, bloated and in agony with liver failure. In response to my asking whether I'd have to stay overnight there, the doctors at CGRMC who got me ready for the air-evac to Tucson University Medical looked down at me with shaking heads and said "Honey, you're gonna be here a WHILE!" I was in a coma twice, intubated and unable to breathe on my own, and had to learn to walk again. On the 26th of December I was finally released, and the REAL work of recovery began. Through the services of BHACA, Behavioral Health Agency of Central Arizona, I had personal counselling for two and a half years, and group counselling for the final six months of that period. I had family support, medical assistance, and a LOT of work to do. When I graduated myself from counselling, I entered a BHACA program called CEC, Community Employment Connections; which helps people with physical and mental disabilities who want to work negotiate the bureaucratic maze and re-enter the work force. Last spring I volunteered at the United Way of Pinal County for three months. Over the summer I moved again, then learned to drive, made up a resume, took the GED test in the fall, and had shoulder surgery in January. And last month I was absolutely stunned to receive in the mail a scholarship offer to CAC, for six credit-hours, based on my high scores on the GED. I will be taking beginning Spanish in the fall, and next spring.Right now I am on the Pinal County Clerical Registry, waiting for a job. When I think about this diploma, and the opportunities it represents for me, I realize I am a very lucky woman. I believe anyone who perseveres, no matter how many mistakes they make, creates their own luck. And for all of us here today to receive this honour, I wish every success and reward that our hard work deserves. Let's keep on making a difference.
Shayna Gray
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