Friday, November 4, 2005 A

"If Not Now, Later..."
6:22am

Work is at a fever pitch of busyness. The reason for 'the season' is soon to be over, all the Marine balls, and all the coats the Marines need for those balls. But now, it is 'the fever pitch'. Learning to relax is especially important, as I can carry the stress home with me. If inspiration on creative matters doesn't come now, it will come later.

If in the running, I get tired, I will rest.
Who knows it, says it.
Who thinks it, thinks it,
I 'know' in my bones,
but 'glow' in my heart.
Space is a wonderful thing,
and I give it to myself.
This 'race of life' has no deadline but the final one.

'Space' is a wonderful thing, and I give it to myself.

Friday, November 4, 2005 B

"Pickled?"
7:53pm

I'm not sure of the inspiration for this 'automatic' doodle. In a day or so, s/he will feel much better!

Monday, November 7, 2005

"I Like That Mystery"
6:33pm

I don't know about the 'pickled person' in Friday's drawing, but I do feel better than I did Friday. I took lots of naps this past weekend, and they rejuvenated me quite a bit. I interspersed that with some online reading of someone's 'Grail studies'. I suspect at least some of it has a chance of being right. I mean, some of that history was a long time ago, even before the Egyptians. I googled some of the stuff the author mentioned, and came up with more interesting stuff: Pythagorean Point Down Pentacles! Interesting artwork from a Grandmaster of the 'Priory of Sion', Jean Cocteau, (1889-1963)! Some of his pieces remind me of my 'automatic drawings'. Indeed, one of his quotes is the following:

"Art is a marriage of the conscious and the unconscious."

Also, I found this tidbit interesting, as well:

"He created powerful roles for women in his films and plays. Like many gay males, he loved actresses and women singers. A companion explained that women "formed part of the décor of his life." On the day that Edith Piaf died, he recorded a tribute to her, which was broadcast on French radio; he himself died later that day, October 11, 1963."

After reading all about Cocteau and looking at another online artist's work, I felt the need to do some of my own. Using the 'automatic' method (because it's most fun, I like being surprised), I came up with:

"The Conversation"

Perhaps the character could be a sort of Jean Cocteau, a slightly feminine gay man. There's a bit of androgeny about the appearance, could be a woman, too. I like that mystery. Also I wonder who s/he's talking to. Why wasn't that person included?

And also, possibly anticipating the conversation that came later yesterday evening also might have featured in the creation of this image. Julia and I had a lovely visit with friends whom we haven't seen in a while.

It was a great weekend.

9:43pm
Weird Drawing of the Evening:

Despite the rain...

Thursday, November 10, 2005

"To Enjoy Each Moment"
5:41am

I wake early, with birthday thoughts. My celebration has begun early. As one of my co-workers is off visiting a friend, we had the celebration there on Tuesday. We enjoyed the 'Chinese Kitchen' from Frys. I got my usual chicken and veggies over fried rice. I like that dish because it is colorful, tasty and healthy. It was finished off with gourmet chocolate cake. I still have some left over.

Last night, Julia came to the car with a bag, covered with stars. "What's in the bag," I ask, and she opened it to show three beautifully wrapped packages, for me! We put those safely in the car truck while we dined at River City Grill. I love the atmosphere there, the energy is so good. I noticed Celtic music was playing, I think it's a compilation album we have. I tasted Julia's 'Sunshine Wheat' beer, "Hm, not 'dirty'." Julia got a appetiser soup with all sorts of fish in it, salmon, scallops, clams. She played with the clam shells like they were small castanets. I picked the salmon and crab cakes that come with a little salad and peanut sauce. There were three, I let Julia eat the third, to leave room for the main meal. She chose a tofu dish. From the taste I had, it's as good as tofu can taste. I tried the spaghetti and meatball, and what a huge meatball it is. It's lean beef, delicately spiced, with just the right amount of garlic. The little vegetables scattered in the angel hair pasta added a pleasant contrast. I have left overs.

I amaze myself with my wine tasting abilities. I tasted Julia's drink and declared, "This is a little 'thick', slightly more alcoholic than the usual wine, it tastes like port." Julia smiled, "That's because it IS port!" I laughed, "My wine tasting abilities amaze me!"

My dessert, the three layer mousse, came with a thin red candle in its center. Yes, I enjoyed blowing it out. I kept the candle as a souvenir.

At home, I opened the three packages. Each beautiful package smelled faintly of the lovely incense Celestial Moments uses. I opened the CD, 'Aria 3', so it could play while I opened the rest. One is of a Chinese copper bell, six petaled at the bottom. Three deities and Chinese writing cover its body, one is Kwan Yin, I think. And at its top, a dragon circles around. There are also tiny dragons at the beginning of each of the Chinese paragraphs. (I think they call them paragraphs.)

And here is the lovely Anubis statue! I like the view which renders Set as Anubis' father. I put a long, slender crystal in the offering bowl.

And now this morning, I am full of reflective thoughts. At forty seven, I am well on the side of 'middle aged'. At this age, it might be pathetic to try and look like a twenty year old. I hope to retain my youthful qualities, however. I want to increase in grace, strength and pride. I want to grow more poised, relaxed and confident. Oh, my twenties were nervous years at times! I had little capacity to enjoy that firm, perky body I had. I want to enjoy the ripeness of this age. I want to enjoy each moment and not waste it.