October 31, 2004

"Self Portrait At Samhain"
1:22am

November 2, 2004

"Not Going To Lose Sleep"
7:51pm

The TV drones on with useless news. All CNN can do is 'project' winners in the election. It is so much 'hot air' or more accurately 'tepid sound waves' until an exact count can be made. I am endeavoring not to get emotional at least until we have a definitive result.

Tomorrow, I have the root canal. I dread it, but will be glad to have the tooth fixed. The doctor assures me it is 'a clean shot', and the tooth should have many good years of usage. I really want to avoid being toothless if I can help it.

I'll endeavor to get to bed early tonight, so I can rise early for the appointment.

What is the device below? It's an:

Ancient Egyptian Headrest

Late Old Kingdom-First Intermediate Period, ca. 2345-2055 BCE

Dreadful, isn't it? Even with the linen cushion padding, it couldn't have been that comfortable for them. In contrast, I am grateful for a lovely large soft pillow.

(The original image of this bedrest and many others can be seen at 'The Quest For Immortality: Treasures of Ancient Egypt' exhibit that is currently being housed at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science.

Now it is 9:33pm, and I shall seek that lovely soft pillow.

November 3, 2004

"You Know The Drill"
11:37am

See the one with the white filling?

Do you know the drill? The root canal is just more of the same. Tinier drill bits and more vibration, but that's about it. "Expect some pain," the dentist said. I haven't felt it yet, for two hours later, I'm still numb. I've been napping alot.

1:13pm

I heard the news. Kerry conceded to Bush. The anesthesia is wearing off. OWw-w-w-w-w!

So Bin Ladin wants to bankrupt the U.S.? Bush has already been workin' on it, with our 7.4 trillion dollar debt! All drill, no fill! All for 'the black gold', so many killed. All for a nonrenewable energy source, so much expense! When all that money could have been spent studying new technologies, it is such a senseless shame.

Meanwhile, my thoughts return to my own life. My own path, devoted to Mystery and Wonder, continues.

November 6, 2004

"Settling into the Season"
2:30am

It's no wonder many journaller's attentions have been turning to the recent political events. I understand people have the need to vent, and this is worthy for those who find it of interest. But sometimes I find it tiresome. One journaller's long diatribe on politics served as perfect backdrop for the poem of simplicity by another. In contrast, this poem was so refreshing:

Leaf-henge Overnight the small garden tree has shed its leaves. Without fuss, quietly, it has formed a thick circle on the lawn, beneath naked branches. In the early dew-misted light it seems druidic, somehow, a perfect leaf-henge laying there, waiting for noon, when the wind will rise and, randomly, disperse it. John Bailey, Lincolnshire, 2004

I love the imagery in that poem. I, the low desert dweller, could really visualize it, and enjoy a bit of the fall weather vicariously. I'd had my own brief political lament and then I asserted that:

"Meanwhile, my thoughts return to my own life. My own path, devoted to Mystery and Wonder, continues."

At times I like to reflect, thinking of that path and where I am on it. The other day, I felt vaguely disatisfied, sensing I would have a dry spell creatively.

This is all I could get when I plumbed the depths:

Sleeping giants lie at the feet of silent giants. In dreams that move in the sleeper's depths, hints of unformed secrets are in those depths but I can't reach them now. The part of me that will is sleeping now. I prepare myself for the awakening. Deep Self sleeps and I cannot awaken her. She will awaken when she is ready. JAL, 10-31-04

That's not the kind of answer I like to hear. Yet it is part of the natural cycles.

I enjoy the free exploration of Self on its own terms, of self, too. Of all that is me, from astral outskirts to deeper and deeper within. Certainly, I change, and my old texts no longer apply in the way they used to. I shed leaves just like that tree shed its leaves and for awhile they make a pretty pattern...until the winds of change blow. And that is the cycle, and it is all good, and change happens at its own pace and season. I am all the seasons of my soul. There is time for the falling leaves, the barrenness of waiting for new fruition and the fragile buds of new fruition, and then abundant growth. These are the seasons of me. I celebrate the seasons of me and will enjoy their own processes, knowing each stage has its reason and need.

I'm feeling much more peaceful now.

November 7, 2004

"Tucked Into Corners"
7:14pm

I'm wanting the freedom of a ramble. I don't know where it will lead. While hunting for quarters to do the wash, I looked in every drawer and hideaway. In the corner of one drawer, I found a polished slab of rainbow obsidian. Its many circles within circles seems to suggest 'Return to the center', and its dark tones speaks of Darkside. I placed it on the main sacred space to give energy to my resting spell, as it just seems right for it.

TV has been productive this Sunday. I enjoyed the kangeroos on TV. How they leap great bounds on their strong hind legs! I leap vicariously with them, imagining the thrill of the great speed. An earlier show featured cheetahs. The mother taught her small brood of baby cheetahs how to feed. A small baby deer was their prey. It is all part of the cycle of life, and we are at the peak of it. It is a savage beauty, and so I shall render to savage beauty all my feedings.

However, it is strange, or perhaps not so, how much less I need to eat now that I'm older. I get full so quickly. I have a huge pile of spicy Mix Biryani awaiting me for lunch tomorrow. I sure didn't stint at those cookies of Belgian chocolate, though. I tucked three away.

The lecture on Egyptian deities at the Unitarian Universalists was interesting. The speaker had many lovely pictures affixed to large cardboards. She told how Thoth healed Horus after the quarrel with SET. To this I commented that Thoth healed SET as well as Horus after their fracas. But she was clear that the Egyptians didn't have an idea of 'evil' as Christian Americans do.

I could have added more about the Xeper scarabs, as she just said they symbolized regeneration and immortality. I could have added that the immortality state is a state of continuous Becoming. But I didn't want to be obnoxious with comments. The lecturer is an interesting lady. It's cool to have people of some culture and understanding in Yuma. We aren't all imported. Heh Heh.

Not only have I savored from a distance Egyptian treasures today, later this evening, the PBS station featured a show on Prague and Budapest. The narrator stressed the 'magical' nature of Prague as he showed us Prague's Old Town; and exquisite Bohemian glass. Yes, the two places I'd most like to visit some day are Egypt and Prague. But there's many intriguing places out there. Someday, possibly, I may see a few in person.

November 10, 2004 A

"Forty Six!"
6:06am

''Happy Birthday to Me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me-e, happy birthday to me!''

Happy birthday to me. Gro-o-owlll! 46! Pfft!

Grin!

I am not thrilled. Yes, I'm possibly 'over the hill' only in that I may be past the middle point. That this could be of the last half of my life cannot be denied. However if I live to 96 as gramma did, that middle point would be 48. Heh, heh, I'm still young yet! No mold on me. Heh heh.

I am fortunate. The only health problems I have are a bit of arthritis and a varicose vein in my ankle. Oh, and the excess weight, which I'm slowly working on.

I'm not over the hill yet.