October 11, 2002

"Raising Our Glasses"

Why am I sitting here again before the screen? Am I just going to whine again about 'how much it hurts'? (This damn miserable bug, beside all the previous points of torture, has now moved into my sinuses). Well there be any end to the torment? Yes, I know I'm being overdramatic. Much more so than John, who said of the prospect of getting his deaf ear syringed ''When I think of it I indulge myself in a bit of moaning and groaning and general feeling sorry for myself.''

With me, there's no BIT about it! I moan BIG time.

With the general appeal for sympathy over with, I'll now begin to seek why I was drawn here.

Surely, I'll get past the carping stage.

Oh, yes, today is National Coming Out Day. I remember my initial 'coming out' episodes, the fearful revelations to my mother, the terrified first visit to a campus GLBT club. Oh, it was all fraught with terror, and so much of it unnecessary. That was back in 1979. Hopefully in this day and age, things aren't so scary for young 'queer' people.

My fears, however, had extra elements added that most people, even in 1979, didn't have to deal with. Growing up in a christian fundamental family is like growing up on another planet, almost. The list of strictures they have is enormous. No dancing, no drinking, no even eating in restaurants that serve alcohol, no going to movie theaters, no playing role playing games . . .

So it's no wonder when I stuck my timid turtle head out into the 'worldly' world, I became rather overwhelmed. It's no wonder at all. Oh, I am so glad those scary years are behind me.

So that's what I have to say on this day. I raise my glass (of Irish breakfast tea with milk), and salute all of you brave people who have left 'closets' of whatever stricture and proudly proclaim who you are.

(Oh, and a new picture has been added to the web!)


Raising our glasses!

 

October 12, 2002 - A

"Two Days Off"

Saturday it is, and I have finished my work labors until Tuesday. I'm grateful to old Columbus for the respite. I'm still suffering from the flu and sinuses, but at least I can lie down and nap whenever I feel like it.

By Monday, I should be able to fully enjoy the fact of not working, and hopefully we'll do something fun. Earlier this week, I was resting while watching a lovely DVD we have that features smooth panoramic shots of America's National Parks. The exquisite scenery is backed by well chosen instrumental selections. I couldn't help but think of all the times Laura got us out and exploring beautiful nature areas near us. For some of them, I have digital records. For the others, many I did not even have my small 'point and shoot' camera along, and so now I have only hazy memories.

It is so fortunate that with the acquisition of the digital camera, I took more pictures. They cost no money to process, and are immediately available. Still, there are a few pictures worth scanning in our drawer of 'old-fashioned' photos.

Our friend Nick, travelling south to Yuma from his Canadian summer home, took a route through Sedona and sent us a lovely picture of a deep river with the magnificent red craggy earth there. Eager to prove WE TOO had been there, I dug out an old glossy of the famed Bell Rock, with Julia before it. Of course, it was back in 1995 that we'd last been there, but been there, we have.

Now, wary of an aging car (its motor cooling fan seems to have quit), trips are taken with great caution. Though I do dream of us taking a vacation in San Diego again. They have an arboretum there I've yet to see, and lots of museums that will especially intrigue Julia. Well, DREAMS are what keep us going sometimes.

Still, for the present, I am happy to have a couple of days off from work.

 

October 12, 2002 - B

"One Lone Picture"

While looking through old glossy photos, trying to find ones featuring trips we'd made before the era of digital cameras, I grow frustrated at the positively miserly collection. Back in 1990 or 1991, Laura and I made a trip to Zuni, New Mexico. This was a big deal for Laura. She was so thrilled to walk where the Zuni man-woman We'Wha had walked. Do I have ANY pictures of their village, the oldest continually inhabited settlement on the continent? NO!

I can find only ONE picture that commemorates this unusual event. Not far from the Zuni pueblo is the El Morro National Monument. This site features "Inscription Rock", a soft sandstone monolith, rising 200 feet above the valley floor. It's so named because the soft rock allowed carvings to be made. It holds prehistoric petroglyphs along with the markings of later travellers who passed by. The first translatable and dated message was from 1605, well before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620. "Passed by here, the Adelantado Don Juan de Onate, from the discovery of the Sea of the South, the 16th day of April, 1605."

I seem to recall that I declined on pictures of the Monument, for I'd bought a small booklet about it. However, that book may have failed to survive our many moves.

Still, I have this lone picture of Laura, at the base of the tall monolith:


Laura at El Morro National Monument

 

October 13, 2002

"On The Mend"

Early hour of the morning, and only the crickets sing. I, who am sleeping much, arose with a sore back. I'll return to slumber later. The torment of the sinuses has eased, although I am still coughing and blowing. But I am on the mend.

Perhaps it shall be a weekend of renting videos.

Tuck Everlasting has not made it yet to our region. So we rented Queen Of The Damned. We've heard it's far inferior to the book, with bad music besides, but we'll give it a try anyway. Vampire Lestat becomes a rock star in this one, the cover page says.

I must be on the mend. My sleeping dreams now feature healthy vamps. Quite a spectacle, this morning's was, too. It was a time shift back to my college days and that dreary boarding house. Though it wasn't so dreary now. I had friendly neighbors and there was an intriguing 'tall, pale and handsome' visitor who intrigued me. My friends warned me to steer clear of him, for he was a vampire.

     
handsome,
having something of the penetrating eyes of the older vamp above, but still retaining some innocence, as the younger immortal to his right

Ah, but this just fascinated me more so! So I met with him, and oh, he was handsome, and let drop the hint ''It would be fascinating to live through the centuries and see history unwind.'' But he said nothing, only the smallest hint of a smile at his lips gave any indication that the comment registered.

The question was soon forgotten, as we go on to discussing other things. Later in the day, he seduced me, and I was completely under his sway. I was only dimly aware of him draining me and putting something of his own within me to replace what he drained.

After our orgy was done, and we were spent, I venture the statement, ''So it's true what they say about you, then?'' He replied ''I was under the impression you wouldn't mind,'' as he returned to gently kissing me. And I didn't mind, not really.

Then my roommate returned, who oddly just happened to be a person from real life, Cynthia, who exudes an air of authority, and said ''Get that vamp out of my house! Oh, it's too late, you've spent too much time with him! BOTH of you get out of my house!

But I turned the tables on her, ''No, YOU get out! You haven't been paying your share of the rent anyway. WE'RE going to live here!''

There were other odd bits after this point, including exploring the town together and coming across a choir, one of whose members, Sylvia, had been in my old choir, and announced that she'd given up smoking and showed off her small embroidery projects, but that's the juicest parts.

You just never know who I'm going to turn up as, do you? An interesting mental life makes for an interesting life, indeed.

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