September 27, 2001

"Hostility?"

This was the quote to meditate upon this morning:

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each man's life a sorrow and a suffering enough to disarm all hostility. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

That's what greeted me. Do I feel 'hostility' towards bin Laden? I don't know as that's the word I'd use. I sure know I don't like my country being the target of HIS HATRED, HIS HOSTILITY. Okay, maybe we've done some things. There's the 'inherited guilt' from the ''The brutality of Christendom's efforts to conquer the Holy Land from the Muslims in the Crusades of the 11th, 12th and 13th centuries'' But I didn't do that. Those in the towers didn't do that. And some of our more recent policies in the Middle East are seen as being 'anti-Muslim'. For instance, why we are continuing sanctions against the Iraqi people, ten years after the Gulf war? The U.N. claims ''some 5,000 Iraqi children die every month of malnutrition and disease because of the sanctions.''

Still, those in power never asked ME, or those who were in the towers what we'd do with foreign policy. It's true, if you look at U.S. history, we've got some UGLY things spotting it. The revenge on Hiroshima and Nagasaki for the bombing of Pearl Harbor is one thing. The devastation on the innocents caused by the use of nuclear power is still being felt. It was a revenge entirely out of proportion. And the Japanese had already surrendered. Truman had a "cable from Jap emperor asking for peace." referred to in his own diary, but he wanted the U.S. to have 'unchallenged military power'. In other words, he wanted us to be the biggest and baddest bully around.

Let's hope our leaders have learned from those lessons.

But it's always at least 'an eye for an eye', isn't it? And when religious fervor backs the battle, it gets worse. It's one thing if you're pissed and fighting a cause, but when you believe the 'almighty' is behind you, well there's just no stopping you. The Taliban leader said ''Ours is a jihad against those who brought suffering on the Afghan people and violated Islamic teaching. The Taliban will fight until there is no blood in Afghanistan left to be shed.''  There you have it, he doesn't care what happens to the civilians of his country, just as long as the unholy 'holy war' goes on.

No, I don't feel 'hostility' towards bin Laden, but I can damn well stick pins in his lousy picture, if I want.

(quotes from that issue of TIME with the 'ugly face' on it - pg 46, 43 Also, quotes concerning Pearl Harbor appeared in the Arizona Daily Star, August 11, 2001, in an editorial by Mark Zepezauer. )

 

September 29, 2001

"Happy Targets"

I found a quote today with which I heartily agree:

Well, now and then, for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat. Slam him hard agin the ground so hard, it seems like all of his insides is busted. Its not all like that. A lot of it's mighty fine. And you can't afford to waste the good part fretting about the bad. That makes it all bad. You understand what I'm trying to get at? Jim Coates in Old Yeller

I've spent far too much time with war thoughts, and I shall endeavor to move on to other things. In the process, I expect my mood shall brighten some.

Speaking of brightening the dark, Laura bought some night lights the other day which are quite revolutionary. They look like tiny flat computer monitors, bordered in a teal blue frame, with a green glowing 'monitor'. The technology is called 'lime light', and they are not ever supposed to burn out. They add just the right touch of comforting light, not too bright to bother dark-adapted eyes.

Speaking of happy sights for eyes, yesterday, while I woke up from my afternoon slumber, for a bathroom visit, while seated, engaged in bathroom duties, I was happily surprised to see two brown birds at our bathroom window. How they managed to perch themselves, I'm not sure. The bathroom window glass is of two horizontally divided halves that lift outwards to let the air in. Perhaps the slanting glass looked like a nice roof to shelter under. I ran to get the camera, but of course, they flew away by the time I returned. Maybe they'll return.

Bird watching, though short lived, is fun. The three of us enjoyed watching a sight of somewhat longer duration this Wednesday. The two hour premiere of the new 'Star Trek' show Enterprise gives us hope of being a very promising show. Scott Bakula, who played in Quantum Leap a few years back, will make a delightful captain, well worthy of his stripes. Captain Jonathan Archer has the youthful enthusiasm that Captain Kirk had. The supporting cast works well, too. A cooly tempered Vulcan seems to have something more 'hot' deep within her under control. A congenial doctor reminds me a tiny bit of 'Neelix' from the 'Voyager' series. It is set a century before the original 'Star Trek', when everything about space exploration is new. They manage to convey the excitement of the newness.

Speaking of newness, Laura encouraged Julia to get a music program for her computer that lets her write music. She's been enjoying it, and has written her first piece, 'Carmina Galliambica'. Julia's endeavored to capture the galliambic meter of more than 2000 years ago, when the ancient gallae were beating on their drums and banging their cymbals. She's even linked at a classical composer website. Should you care to have a listen, click on the item below:

Laura and I are still having happy diversion in Everquest. Her 'shadownight' Ebonangel looks quite gorgeous in her deep orange and gold Tismak armor. I should have a picture soon. She and her playmate, my Azzarrah, are both level nine now. He looks plain in his drab brown Necromancer's 'senior apprentice' robe, but he has some nice charisma enhancing earrings, and a 'savant's cap' to aid his already high intelligence. So both are well equipped to battle the Kobolds, a brown, hairy, standing on two feet, dog-faced opponent. The Kobolds, you know, make a happy target, upon which to vent some 'ire'.

Happy targets to set my mind's attention towards, that's what I shall be aiming for.

Oh! Laura has just arrived from a shopping trip with Serena. She's bearing steak sandwiches for us all. Yum! Talk to you later . . .

 

September 30, 2001

"Cathartic"

The following is a bit of an intense rambling 'poem', gotten in my odd way by letting the 'spirit' lead me. Despite efforts to keep my mind off the war, I found myself restless, unable to think of anything else while trying to sleep yesterday.

It's a bit cathartic. At least I felt released of something when I was done with the 'poem'. For that, it has its merits, and I'll be placing it here. I'm not so sure of its poetic merits. But I like the feeling of release its given me.

With that warning, here goes:

Spent Of Hatred All around me, the bombs of anger are exploding. All around me, and it's hard to hear anything else. The loudness, the stench, the evilness of hatred. How can a battle be 'holy', when it is filled with so much hate? I didn't kill your god. I didn't mess with your face. But what is your god, and who has your face? He is off, somewhere 'missing'. And the men in blue are in pursuit. "Find him!", the nation cries. Stop one, can you stop them all? All around me, the bombs of anger are exploding, and I can't find a quiet place to think. What will it be? Where will it lead? How will it end? How many will die? Why now? Why this? I could sleep, if it weren't for the anger I feel exploding everywhere. ''My God killed your God?" 'One nation under God' against another nation, under their god. Damn these unholy wars. I will have none of it. I want none of it. Please tell me how this story will end. It's gone on much too long already. And yet its only just begun. Crack! Whirr! Hiss! Hear those bombs of hatred. There is nothing holy in this hatred. I wish I could sleep. But all about me, the rumble. I can't get my mind off it. If I am no longer able to tell the story, will you tell it for me? Say, after the ending, there is happiness. There will be, won't there? Please? I will rest now. I will gather about me such covering as I can. More hatred will not answer this. I cannot put out the fires by adding to the fuel which created them. I can't look at the image of your face, Osama   and hate you. I am spent of hatred. I am worn, of hatred. I am done with that. So if they find you, and I hope they do, I won't be rejoicing. I won't be shouting hosannas in the village. I'll just be hoping maybe more young boys will not be taught to hate, in your training camps of horror. Take it all down. We would not come after you. But, no, you will shed your blood, their blood, anyone's blood you can find, in your cause. Is this how you truly hope to restore your land to its glory? When all have shed their last drop of blood? What blood soaked land will that be? Fertilizers, you say? What can then grow, in such a place? And in a far off world, galaxies away. do strangers laugh at the human folly? Say I was not one of them! This hatred will not soak me. I will hear the comings and goings, but with a quieter ear. This head shall rest upon a pillow of peace, if only it is my own peace. In this heart of mine, I set down the battle-axe. It was too heavy to wield, anyway. Say, I am just a common worker. To the fighters must go the courage. I hear them, as they march off, answering what they would rather not have. They know no glory awaits them. They know it isn't a 'holy' war. No war ever is. Think, if the power of hatred is this, how much greater the power of love? Courage to those who must fight. The story isn't over yet. Say, after the ending, there is happiness. There will be, won't there? Please? Meanwhile, I wait, I pray, and I wait, and I hope. And I pray some more. JAL, 9 - 29 - 01

I mostly like it, but I don't really understand the part about 'my god killed your god'. That hasn't happened. Oh, it's happened in the long ago past, when gods took over a goddess-ruled world. But its not happening now. Religion HAS entered into this, however, and I suppose that's what the poem is referring to. Still, in the heat of such a cathartic poem, I suppose I may be allowed some 'poetic license'. Anyway, it's the way I 'received' it, for what it's worth.

 

October 3, 2001

"Pleasant Diversions"

When I am old and gray, reading this journal and reliving what then will be my past, will I be frustrated and think ''Didn't I have a LIFE during this time? Did ALL I DO was fret about the war?''  Indeed, much of my mental and emotional energy has gone to worrying about what the future hold in regards to that subject. It's kept me awake at night and given me nightmares at other times. But it really is quite inaccurate to suggest I've been thinking of little else.

So I must do better. Indeed, some days, I don't even check the news. I almost was going to check the news today, but the server was too sluggish. Whatever news is there can wait until later.

Now to the subject of what I was thinking about: HAPPY BATTLES!

Giannissi in battle   . . .  One down, one to go

We've been having happy battles in Everquest, as the pictures show.  (Want a closer look at that gorge minotaur?)

And didn't the resurrected Buffy do great against the ugly demons last night? She was in shock, from having to claw her way out of a casket, and 'awakening' to a world the demons had ravaged. ''Is this hell?'', she asks her sister later, while still in shock. But she was safe at show's end, and the demons had gotten the message that Buffy's back in town.

Now tonight is the second episode of Enterprise, and Laura has promised to tape it for me while I am at work.

We have a full set of our own ''Fushigi Yugi'' now. It is nice to watch the shows slowly, and not in a rabid hurry to see what happens next.

What pleasant diversions these are! Laura and I had an excellant time at dinner this Monday. I had my favorite 'enchilade suizas' and we dined in the 'patio' area. I enjoyed the soft light from the window as we had good conversation and savored our food. Gazing into each other's eyes, we celebrated over fourteen years of happiness and good memories made together. One of our special strengths is communication skills.

We often marvel at the idiotic problems of the couples on that dumb soap opera we occasionally watch. Nearly ninety percent are caused by poor communication. I wonder how closely this reflects the average real life couple difficulties. Throughout our years together, Laura and I have met many unusual challenges, and without those good communication skills, I don't know how we would have fared. So we are blessed, indeed.

Add these thoughts to the few nervous ones, and they outweigh them easily. As for the rest, we'll let time answer those worries.

 

October 4, 2001

"Another"

I got another scene from Laura's cartoon colored:

S l o w l y,  I'm getting there.

 

October 6, 2001

"Thunder"

white patch on tan ground, snow in the desert? No, crumpled paper left by man. ~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ rumbling thunder roars, angry sky turns black. Soon, the cleansing rain.

I like the first haiku, but I'm not so sure about the second. That thunder was really spooky, though. I was trying to go to sleep, but the thunder was just too loud. My feet was at the end of the bed, touching the wall, and I could feel the vibrations through the wall.

As sleep wouldn't come in like this, I stumbled out into the living room. Laura was complaining there was nothing on TV during the Saturday afternoon. ''Just preaching, and football, on ALL the channels.'' I remembered the tape Laura had made for me of the second Enterprise show. Even though she'd already seen it, it was still the most appealing option. The small TV with the VCR is in the bedroom, attached to the attenna outlet there. So the three of us piled into bed and watched Enterprise.

''Afterwards, we can discuss why it stunk,'' Laura opined. She's not too optimistic about this show's future success. ''The Vulcan has entirely too much emotion. The captain's acting is flat.'' I, however like the captain. The vulcan did seem an odd fit, in this second show. At one point, she bristled with irritation at the captain, not at all the impartial logician as former Vulcans have been.

The language interpreter and the doctor are perfect. Perhaps, if the Vulcan continues to 'bristle', they will trade her out for another Vulcan. The Vulcan authorities can 'recall' her, and another could take her place. But it is just the second show. I'll give the actress time.

Still, watching the show, I did not hear the disturbing thunder. And when it was over, the worst of the storm was over. Soon after, I fell fast sleep.