"Simple Joys", "More Elastic Than You Think", "Emotional Seas"

August 29, 1999

"Simple Joys"

Yes, I didn't eat much yesterday. A dreadful sinus headache rather dampened my appetite. I didn't take to bed, however, except for a nice short nap with Laura in the afternoon. I did some sewing, then later played Might and Magic VII. After bringing the city plans to the Elven King, I rescued some chap by the name of Loren Steel who was imprisoned in the Tularean Caves. I love the names the game designers came up with. Doesn't the Tularean Forest sound like it would be a magical place? It is, indeed. The trees are 'angry' and a few fired salvos at me along the northern passage to the caves. There's a cure for their angriness which I'll bring at some point later on in the game.

Such games are a remarkable diversion, especially when one needs to be distracted. This morning, only a small tendril of sinus stuffage remains. Another thing brought me a bit of joy yesterday. Earlier in the week, while at Walmart, I saw a stainless steel canister with glass lid I fancied. I thought it, and possibly others like it, would be useful for organizing and storing sewing supplies. So for six bucks cash, I brought it home. It sat there awhile on the cutting table while I decided what to do with this 'extravagance'. I took a look at the old battered cardboard box which held safety pins. It had served me for three years. But pins frequently got stuck under the folded edges of cardboard. So I emptied the safety pins into the stainless steel canister, and set the glass lid into the old box for storage behind the cutting table. I love the feel of reaching into that smooth, perfectly round, cool to the touch container. It inspired me to hunt for all stray pins and properly house them.

I didn't know just how advantageous that would be. A long time customer of mine who I hadn't seen in a while went on a huge shopping trip. Her accompanying friend told me how huge. Two DAYS worth of shopping, in six hour shifts! Because she's so tiny, (Size 0, can you imagine it?), everything she buys must be altered. She came yesterday for her fittings. It took an hour and all my safety pins! I was so glad I'd had them all gathered, and didn't have to waste fitting time hunting for them. Each time I reached into that smooth, perfectly round container, I was glad of my six dollar splurge.

August 30, 1999

"More Elastic Than You Think"

Sunday, our special day together, Laura and I went to Ray Rd. I was still under the influence of bad sinuses and a bit indecisive about where I wanted to eat. The usual places didn't excite. But Laura suggested Mexican, which did sound appealing. I'd forgotten the curative powers of salsa.

Earlier in the day, we thought we'd go to a movie, but none of them were enticing except The 13th Warrior. However Shayna had wanted for all of us to see that movie together. To avoid guilt of an early viewing, I suggested we go to Borders and while there, go next door to the computer store in case some black cartridges for our color printer were in. They had to search in the back of the store, but finally found one for the 700-900 Compaq printer. It's been a useless table ornament all summer, for none could be had ANYwhere. At last, successful, we entered Border's. You know that is a dangerous place. It's all but impossible to exit without a large bundle. After narrowing the CD's down to Mary McLaughlin's Daughter of Lir and Emma Shapplin's Carmine Meo, that wasn't enough. I succumbed to the temptation of a crossword puzzle book that appeared challenging enough without being impossible. As we left the store, I laughed, telling Laura "You know, we spent a LOT more money, than if we'd have gone to the movie twice." But our consciences are clear!

~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~

This morning, sinus aggravation at last subsided, it was replaced with a bit of emotional turmoil. To sort it out, I sat quiet with pen and paper. The poetic results may not make sense to anyone else. But it so answers my confusion.

In clarity, I would know the truth.

More Elastic Than You Think Is it not now, the time you always think it is? But go there, and see if you can't make it better. The defining line wraps neatly around boundaries. It's thin, though, and can be stretched. It's not a wire that cuts as it divides. Fear no sharp edges, grasp this thing firmly, but gently, and stretch lovingly. It won't break. You won't break. You are more elastic than you think. JAL, 8-30-99

August 31, 1999

"Emotional Seas"

Cloudy disposition, with intermittent weepiness. Even my 'Muse' is depressed. I tossed last night's desperate efforts into the trash.

This morning, still so blue:

On this shore I stand looking at the immense sea. Weariness worries me, should I attempt to cross it, muscles remember a deep ache. I must plunge into its chill, for something is waiting on the other side. But I don't need to get there fast.

Crossing those emotional seas to what seemed a happy island seemed impossible. Recognizing my tears as more than the usual moodiness, I confessed my distress to Laura. We went on a drive, so I could talk freely. No need to disturb anyone else in the house. I sobbed and sobbed out all my fears. And then, in the not often used side parking lot of Albertson's grocery store, I sobbed some more. "What if I never stop crying?" I asked Laura. "Would you still love me?"

"I will love you if you never stop crying".

"I can cry and cry and cry until I can't cry anymore?"

"Yes, cry all you need." Then she gazed her love deep into my receptive eyes.

I'm not alone on that immense emotional sea. In Laura's love, I have a secure raft. I cried for relief.

September 1, 1999

"Looking Forward to a Much Better Day"

Rawness will heal, abrasions of the soul do, The lick of love, and the wound is gone.

Yes, I'm looking forward to a much better day. I've got a much better perspective on things. Not only that, but the long hard heat of summer seems to be mellowing. At 6:00am today, the temperature was only 73F. (23C) We'll soon be able to turn off the air conditioning at night, and get some fresh air.

September 2, 1999

"Fresh Pictures, After All "

Yesterday was, indeed, much better than the day before. Of course, it could have been a rotten day, and still have been better than the day before. Some times, those days seem to serve just as contrast purposes.

The only distressing thing yesterday, in the middle of my sewing, the machine quit working. I did my first diagnostic routine, which is cleaning and oiling the machine. It'd been a while since that had been done. It still didn't go. I checked to see if a huge wad of thread had wrapped itself around the fly wheel, no - only a small bit, which I easily removed. It still didn't go. I twanged the leather belt. Not much twang to it, it had stretched rather loose. Periodically, leather belts do that. At this point, if it weren't for Laura, I'd have to have some repairman come, and lose fifty bucks for him just to walk in the door. But Laura can fix this. She's done it a few times already. So I did other tasks until she was able to take the thick belt, loosen the metal clasp, cut off some of the excess, and reattach the clasp. I've had this sewing machine for ten years now, and not needed to have a repairman look at.

When I went with Laura to pick up Julia, I wished I've have taken the camera. The views were gorgeous. The so white puffy clouds adorned the sky above the low mountains we cross through. The air was so clear, even without my glasses, which are lost somewhere, I could still see sharp details in the distance.

No current picture to share with you, I'll trot out an old one. I can't remember if you've seen the picture below. It's a spring flower at the Boyce Thompson Southwestern arboretum. I had sent it up to azstarnet, but some times when I like a pic, but have no use for it as yet, I upload it anyway. At any rate, it's pretty enough to be repeated.

fragrant springtime bloom

Wish I could digitalize the scent, as well.

~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~

Surprise! Fresh pictures for you, after all!

A Rural Excursion

 
Shayna told us about this amazing tree, all isolated out in the middle of farmland. There's no other trees around it for miles. So for a midday break, Laura took me out to see it.

It's off of Chuichu road, near Indian land.
 

Compare it to the size of the phone line wires. It is near the irrigation canal, which feeds the crops. Thus this red eucalyptus has been able to grow so mighty in the middle of the desert.

 
That trunk is right next to the tree. The driver no doubt was having his lunch in this shady spot.

Maybe not to those of differing climates, but to those of us here in the desert, this huge trunk is rather impressive.

 
This is a roadside memorial, found along rural roads here in the southwest. Where ever someone dies in a car crash, often they'll be commemorated with a small cross and flowers at the spot where the accident occurred. There is no name on this cross. Perhaps more than one person died here. A small mystery.

That wasn't the only mystery today. Some things, when seen, only raise more questions. What was the original purpose of these dome structures? It is almost as though they were built by aliens and later abandoned. Sadly, vandals have since done damage.

September 3, 1999

"I Would Have Had A Real Entry, But . . .

I would have had a real entry, but after doing some housework, I spent the morning playing Heroes. It was past noon, when I left Erathia for Casa Grande, and the sewing tasks. When the sky was darkening, I went back again to Erathia. Sorry! The almost nearly hardy band, except for the sorcerer, who needs rescued continually, are now on the 'path of light'. I have an earlier save, which I will go back to, which will let them see what the 'path of dark' is all about. I'm curious, you know.

September 4, 1999

"Thirsty"

You know you're thirsty when you have dreams of being thirsty. I was walking somewhere. I was to meet someone, I can't remember who. Was it my parents? My Dad died back in '93, but dreams have a logic of their own. Anyway, I was thirsty. A convenience store was just in sight. A folding table was set up outside, and they were preparing to vend things outside. They weren't very organized yet. I asked for some lemonade. A blonde older lady gave the blond younger employee, possibly her daughter, barely sixteen, two big bags of powdered lemonade mix. They didn't have the machine set up. A huge loose pile of money was on the table, and I absentmindedly picked it up. Perhaps I'd have better luck inside. They had all the standard racks of chips and candies you expect to find. But the long wall of cold drinks, no. Just one small refrigerated section with beer and some blue, MSG loaded sports drink. Blue foods do not exist in nature. I won't consume something that removed from reality. I looked down at my money. I was originally holding a couple of ones, and was surprised at the huge wad of fifties, twenties, tens, fives and ones. This had to be their money. I tried to give it back to the indoor clerk. You'd expect panic, and relief to have it and his job secure. He responded with a barely audible grunt.

The next thing I knew, I was in my own bed. It was light already, and I was very, very thirsty.