"Musical Musts", "How Much of Everything in Life is Simply Attitude?", "Bank Only"

June 23, 1999

"Musical Musts"

While I was sewing today, I listened to some of my most favorite music. Now, of course, what is this very second's favorite may change. Back on October 21, 1997, I listed my picks of that time. My tastes have changed since then. While the albums listed that day are still among my favorites, I have others for the top five.

1: SILLY WIZARD : LIVE WIZARDRY, the best of Silly Wizard in concert. No one can write a ballad like Andy M. Stewart. The Valley of Strathmore is one of the best:

". . .But if time were a thing man could buy,
      All the money that I have in store
      I would give for one day by your side,
      In the valley of Strathmore. . .

The Rambling Rover is an example of Stewart's humor. He dedicates it to all those who like to have a good time:

". . . If you're bent with arthritus,
      Your bowels have got colitus,
      Your gall up and bowlicaitus, (I couldn't quite decipher it! Some disease, anyway!)
      And you're thinking it's time you died,
      If you've been a man of action.
      While you're lying there in traction,
      You may gain some satisfication
      By thinking, 'Jesus, at least I've tried!'. . ."

It tickles my funny bones. And there's a lot of truth to it, as well. I've given snippets of the lyrics Donald McGillavry a thrilling, driving song, in the January 17, 1998 entry.

2: SOMETHING FOR EVERYBODY, musical favorites selected by movie director Baz Luhrmann. There's just such a good variety here of everything imaginable. I love to "trip away" to these positive songs. There's a distinct Australian flavor here.

3: ANDREA BOCELLI: ROMANZA is one of the most romantic albums, no, the most romantic album I've ever heard. I don't need to know Italian to feel the passion. But fortunately, translations are included in the liner notes.

(From Con Te Partirò)

Con te partirò,
Paesi che non ho mai
veduto si li vivro.
Con te partirò,
su navi per mari
che, il lo so,
no, no, non esistono più,
con te io li vivrò.

I'll go with you,
to countries I never
saw and shared with you,
now, yes, I shall experience them.
I'll go with you
on ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer;
with you I shall experience them.

True love is like that. Through it, you explore all sorts of territories with the one you love. S/he can take you there.

4: RUSSELL OBERLIN: LAS CANTIGAS DE SANTA MARIA was originally released in 1958 (the year I was born!) But his clear, soft, warm mellow beautiful androgynous voice comes through. He is simply accompanied by a lute player on songs praising 'The Mother of God'. The songs are an excellant vehicle for his exquisite voice.

5: SARAH BRIGHTMAN: EDEN has been played over and over and over. Her luscious voice works so well with the rich variety of deeply sensuous songs here that my ears aren't satiated with just one hearing. Many are in Italian. The liner notes don't translate, but the emotion comes through clearly.

Now moving from the ethereal to the less than . . .

Raw Poem Bit!

On a lark, inspired by IKO's writing sample (SO neat and pretty), I found a sample of a poem, rough draft. I cropped a representitive section and thus you see the 'raw bit'.

Translation:

Knowing in sharing it comes full round.
But there is no knowledge that can replace wonder -
not in the stars, nor in the stellar wonder exploding in joy,
not now this time
     with the tying of golden strands,
tied or untied,
they glow luminescent.

But you couldn't have figured that out from the scratch, could you? As I've mentioned before, these poems seem channeled. What sometimes happens in the middle of 'transmission', I'll get a WAIT signal, which gets written down, along with the rest. That happened in this poem. All of it came out in one continuous chunk, until I got the line "Not now this time". Then a period of several minutes went by. Silence. Nada. I strained to listen harder. Then the last three lines came. I think I made the doodle in that 'null space'.

June 24, 1999

"However Curious I Am"

One of the orchids at the orchid show 2-21-99

I was looking at a pretty flower the Sole Proprietor put on his entry, and that inspired me to dig out an oldie from the day we went to the orchid show. I've got lots of these pictures in a folder, so they may show up from time to time.

I've just been full of web work inspiration today! I finally got around to updating the quick ATTWT link from my main index page. While I had the page before me, I added the announcement that my pages are a TRACKER FREE ZONE. It seems everyone now has those little trackers that detail each person that visits and the link they came in on. They're amused by some of the odd search criteria that bring a page of theirs up. I rather suspect our pages are found from some jim dandy search strands. However curious I am, it isn't enough to make me get one of those trackers, though. Not any time soon, at any rate.

June 25, 1999

" How much of everything in life is simply attitude?"

I began this morning in a bit of a blue funk. After doing my 40 minutes worth of 'walkies', I feel quite a bit better. Since I've been aiming to get a good walk three times a week, I feel quite a bit more energetic. I can climb stairs a little easier. And I was pleased to have it elevate my mood as well.

While at the health club, with all the other sweating exercisers, I watched the images on one of the TVs. It was a special on 'haute couture'. The most amazing outlandish things were being worn proudly by the models with their ever so subtle haughty airs. Any average person would be embarrassed to wear this stuff. Is it the attitude of the designer and those who wear his creations that makes it? Obviously they find such things to be of sublime good taste. How much of everything in life is simply attitude? Those models wearing those garments feel beautiful. Therefore society regards them as beautiful. A women with even those statuesque slender dimensions feeling poorly about themselves will give off an air of homliness. I've seen large women, not having bought into the thin mania, radiate a sensuous glory. Surely all of it begins within, and transforms the very surface. Shall I begin to expect that as I get older and apply this wisdom, I'll have a beauty that the thin gawky teenager never had? I look forward to this.

Earlier this week, while at the exercise place, I got an idea for a cartoon. A man uses his treadmill solely to exercise his dog. He's very out of shape, reclining in an armchair, swilling beer and chips, while the dog is at a full out run on the treadmill. He's too lazy to walk the dog himself! Laura nicely interpreted it. She even gave a copy of it to the lady who manages the health club in the mornings.

The blue funk has prevaded my creative mind today. (The old writer's crutch: If you don't have anything to write about, write about not having anything to write about!

Shall I Say Perplexity? If I say the first word tht comes to my mind, what will it be? Is it electric, like blue? Is it shiny, like chrome? Is it hard like diamond? Is it oily like olive's syrup? I don't know. And that's the crux of it. Every word is scattered there in the box. Shall I blind eyed, shove my arm in up to the elbow and feel around for one shaped just right? Yeah, I like that. Tempest, tiny, speckled, old, black, gray, gravel, mean, hard, nasty . . . Why does it have to be this way? Grope and feel and grope and feel. Only you can tell what you want. And what if you don't know what you want? They're all there, in the box. All evenly wanting use. Shall I say perplexity? Or has that one been taken already? No matter. Hard vision splintering mightily in all directions. But wants some directions. And I can't give it. So it's useless. No not useless! I will know these tiny little squiggles are braille for what's in the mind. Feel, feel, feel. Think it wants some. No, it's not useless. Think it's red like anger, no soft, like something gone bad and spoiled. Throw the damn thing away, already! That wasn't it. Obviously.

There's been some bright things to liven that blue funk at least to a cheerful turquoise. A surprise, in fact! Laura told me to do a web search for things to do in Arizona. I'm impatiently weeding through the links, finding not very much useful, until I came to link 111 - Out On A Limb! According to Hotbot, I'm ALREADY an expert! Go figure!

June 26, 1999

"Bank ONLY"

I'd come across Columbine's entry of June 23rd, called "Mojo Hates Banks". That entry, plus an earlier, has inspired me to write he/r with a few of my bank gripes. I wasn't the only one! Columbine noted in a later entry "Boy, you folks don't like banks one little bit, do you?" It seems we don't, do we?

(excerpt of email)

". . . I agree with you about the horrors of the debt ridden society we live in. Every time another one of those ads to get ANOTHER credit card come in the mail, I QUICKLY tear the evil thing up. And I've had similar experiences with banks. When I first moved to Arizona to be with Laura, we were first with the bank she'd always been with. Only long ago it was "First National". By the time I met her, "First Interstate" had eaten it up. I discovered it was a BAD bank, for they subtracted the withdrawals and checks before they added the deposits. In short, they give us a 'bouncy check' that was undeserved. So I asked around the locals, and learned "Great American" had a good rep. We were just as happy as peach there. Until "BANK ONE" ate it up. Bank One has devoured LOTS of small banks. But there's one tiny thing to rejoice over. "First Interstate" got gobbled up, as well, by a "Wells Fargo". They could only improve it. . . ."

Thus ended my gripe. I thought that was the end of it. And then I got a small flyer in the mail today.

Over fifteen years ago, I set up a tiny IRA at the bank which my family had banked at for years. Joliet Federal felt like a good, strong bank. The gold walls and carpet subtlely spoke of money. Not too long afterwards, they changed their name. Having branched out into neighboring areas such as Wilmington and Shorewood, they wanted a less site-specific title. Hence, Joliet Federal became Amerifed. They were so careful to reassure us they were the same bank we'd always known. About eight years ago, I received a mailing announcing a change. Amerifed was now bought out by First Chicago! I was stunned to lose the bank to which I brought my first paycheck and set up my first savings account. That was a rite of passage into adulthood. It seemed like some of the secure underpinnings were pulled out from under me. But I'd seen all the banks in Arizona being bought out. It was just a trend of the times. I sighed and soon forgot about it.

Then today's flyer arrived. My mouth truly hit the floor when I read its announcement:

First Chicago is becoming Bank One

I always thought I was joking when I said Bank One was becoming BANK ONLY!

June 27, 1999

"Showing My Roots"

Some things about our growing up experiences are so woven into us that we are barely conscious of them. One of those things concerns the financial status of one's family. I am hopelessly middle class.

I demonstrated this to Laura's amusement while we were in Tucson's Sam's Club yesterday. Two vehicles, a car and a truck, were parked inside, for sale. The car was amazingly small. It seemed 2/3rds the size of your basic economy car. The price was $26,000! "Twenty Six THOUSAND dollars!", I exclaim to Laura, "Why Anton and Cynthia's starter single wide mobile home WITH LAND only cost two thousand more! Who would pay so much for such a dinky car??" Laura laughed at my naiveté. She then informed me such cars are the toys of the wealthy, for they are equipped with an amazingly powerful engine. She found my innocence refreshing.

Later in the day, she found my innocence not so refreshing. I was speaking of times in my life when money was short. I set priorities. I wore the same two awful pairs of long rise pants I'd made with the same two or three awful shirts and one UGLY brown and orange sweater over and over in college. I would rather spend my few dollars on music. I would NOT be deprived of new aural stimulation. Laura said "You don't get it, do you? You just don't get it! You know what Shayna would say, don't you? At least you HAD money for college. Room and board paid for by your Dad and a nasty ten year loan for the classes, but you WERE able to go to college!" I was glad I'd said this to Laura, not when Shayna was present. The sarcasm decibel would have hit the roof and gone stellar, I'm sure. I HAVE been lucky. I do acknowledge it is all luck, a secure upbringing, good strong genetic material giving me a fairly healthy constitution, each and every aspect of my life has surely been blessed by luck. I acknowledge that. For surely, a quirk of fate one twist another way, and I could have been born to a teenaged crack addict. I know that, and I do thank the fates every day for the blessed life I've had.

Granted, it hasn't all been easy. Growing up in a strict fundamental christian family brought its share of difficulties. Yet for all of that, I'm impressed with the amount of joy we did manage to find. We laughed. We had small outings, small things which brightened our lives. My family, through the gift of their genetic code, and/or generally decent environment, despite the few mistakes they made, embued me with a sort of resilence. I can not but be grateful to them. I don't think I need to feel guilty, for these things are simply chance. Whatever angst I might have over the unfortunate in the world isn't going to help them. If I had Bill Gates money, would I feel guilty? Or would I simply feel it was my divine given right, for all my 'hard labor'? I can't say. I've never been wealthy. I can't know. I can only speak for myself. I really can't imagine another's life, so different than mine. I only know this life, the one I've lived and am living, has been good. I am happy. I am grateful.