Forward...Once again, the buzzing of the mind at morning inspires me to visit within and see what I might find.
May 31, 2003 - A
"As We So Believe"
I treasure so much the years I've been doing this. I've left such precious markings of the way and they are there to ever remind me where I've been, from whence I've come.
To that glorious pile, I add yet another one. (If not 'glorious', then it's at least halfway interesting. There will be no fake modesty here. If my efforts have been successful, there is no fake anything here.)
That is always the danger of the approach here. Absolute honesty may bring oneself face to face with anything, and because I've leaving these marks here, face to face with you, the reader.
On the discussion groups, I am surprised at the different pseudo names people take for themselves. Most are clever and imaginative, but some of them are quite negative. Why does someone call themselves 'Demonchild', or 'Animosity' or 'Lady Death'? Don't they realize names have power? If one calls oneself by such names, then that's what one will manifest!
Even the Bible says ''As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.'' Believe yourself to be evil, and evil is what you are and become more so. Embrace the good within yourself, and good is what you are and become more so. It is the self-creating circular path. It cannot be avoided. Lack of action is an action, too.
Decay from stagnation is a choice, as well. We are creating ourselves daily. Let's make the choice to be beautiful, wise and powerful. We CAN do this. Believe it!
As an amusing co-incidental afternote, AFTER writing today's thoughts, I see the Thought Of The Day is:
Man is what he believes. - Anton Chekhov
If you don't believe ME, maybe you'll believe Chekhov.
Inner eye bade me learn new awareness as I experienced today's adventures. At this morning's gathering of friends, I observed the subtle shifts in energy as people came and left and others came. Each human puts out a distinct energy signature. Previously, I had not known this consciously.
May 31, 2003 - B
"Absorbing The Ambiance"
Later, after Julia and I went to our favorite restaurant, I noticed this again was the case. Each human threw off energy, which was there to leave its indelible mark for the psychically sensitive. Beyond that, I could sense their personal walled-off energy, boundaries there to be respected.
I observed all which went into creating the ambiance of the restaurant. Many diverse elements were there. I imagined the restaurant entirely absent of people, and what it would then feel like. There's no doubt the creative architecture of the place, with its well appointed windows and arches first creates the 'sacred' space. But beyond that, I could sense the energy coming from the environment in which the restaurant itself is situated. Old Town is a very creative area of town. The restaurant sits across from a movie house, and this admits its own influences.
I could go further, to that from the town itself, and the energies created from being alongside an important river, and all of the historical implications of that.
But I shall travel back inside the restaurant, with its cosy lighting. The subtlest of things changed the energy. A disco dance song, with its strong rhythms, changed the mood of those around me. I could feel their energy being 'caffeinated' for the duration of that song. When that song ceased into silence, there was a let-down, a calming.
I could feel the pulses left by earlier diners. All of it went into the rich melange creating the ambiance. Among those past pulses, I sensed those left by our dear Laura, who passed on last July. She has permanently changed that space. Her mark is there. I've felt this there before because of our many pleasant memories at this restaurant.
But today, those actual markings of her spirit were felt clearer than I've ever felt them. I cried to think we can leave such a legacy.
And then I thought, 'Everywhere I go, I am leaving these same marks. Be my spirit a joyful one, this is what I leave. Should I be unhappy and dischordant, that is what I leave. The intertwining of humanity are far more intricate than ever I had imagined.
I think now of that pagan song singing of the Goddess, ''She changes everything she touches, and everything she touches, changes.'' I, who am beginning to appreciate my own inner divinity, can better appreciate the full meaning of this.
I think, too, of my sacred rose, with its layers of deeper meanings to the mystery. Today, I held it close, inhaling and taking in these new revelations.
Everywhere is this sacred dance, 'where the divine and the human meet'. Everywhere. This Flower Blooms For You
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Julia awakened me early to the question of park walk. Though sleepy, I knew I could postpone sleep for later in the heat of the day, and so I arose.
June 1, 2003
"Observations On The Path"
Clad in long sleeve shirt, wearing my straw hat, I took to the path. Julia forgot her sunglass flap, but fortunately it was still early and the sun had not yet grown vicious. Always, we go counter clockwise on the path. This way, we come to the rose garden early. The red roses were aged, but still fragrant. I inhaled deeply of two, and then continued on the path.
Continuing, as I did yesterday, to be more observant of the subtle environment, I sniffed about for what I could sense. A group of four or five young people gave off a rather flighty energy mix. One was laughing about her friend who'd gotten drunk. Could they have stayed awake all night? They all threw off chaotic bouncy vibes, like the mania that strikes those who abstain from sleep.
Not much further on the path, the vitality of an older couple was very evident. No doubt the man and woman had had a long, rich life together. There was a harmony to the way their energy signatures mixed. A blonde haired scrawny woman gave off not much, she was 'all-business' in the pursuit of her healthy goals.
The largeness of male energy spread out from a middle aged man, who greeted us on the path. I sensed determination, that he would meet what ever goals he'd set for himself.
I heard the panting of a large dog from quite a distance away. The wild energy this dog emanated was far stronger than that of the human escorting him. The small boyish looking woman gave off scant vibes. I wondered why, if she was depressed or merely very self-contained. She did not return Julia's call of ''Hello!''
For a good bit, Julia and I then were alone on the path. We delighted to the sight of a road runner in the grass, with his noble crown. It was cute the way his long tail would point upwards after he stopped to pause.
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Later, I heard the impressive footprints of someone approaching us from behind. It had to be a person of sizable weight. I tried to gather anything I could about them before he met and passed us. Strong energy, it seemed, and I deemed it was likely a middle aged person. I smiled when at last the mystery was realized. No forty year old, it was two twenties instead! The duality had been obscured by the fact the young man and woman's foot falls were in perfect unison. This may have been unconsciously controlled by the music they were sharing via a forking headset device.
Also, although the female was shorter, her legs were exactly the same length as those of her partner. This makes such synchronosity easy. Julia, with her long legs, and I, with my short legs, have a difficulty in this. Periodically I must tell me to pause while I catch up. It's not that I'm moving my legs slower than she is, it's just that each step covers considerably less distance.
Not just walking to improve our health, last night Julia and I ventured into the pool. I must be careful to wait until the sun is going down, so I don't burn. It is at last warm enough that we can do this. This is the most fun exercise, as it seems so much more like play. Julia floats while keeping vertical. I take turns between dogpaddling, and being on my back waving my arms to permabulate, and just plain laying there and floating. Summer in Arizona is not all bad.
A person without a sense of humor is the poorest indeed. Julia and I enjoyed much rich laughter last night. Situations which used to cause me grief I can now rise above, aided by this wonderful device.
June 3, 2003 - A
"Humor"
No less a famous author than Mark Twain called humor ''mankind's greatest blessing''
Romain Gary, an author whom I hadn't heard of previously declared:
Another unknown author, Mignon McLaughlin, affirmed:Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
And I return again to Mark Twain:A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.
I am grateful for this great consolation. I only hope I've added my share of humor to the world. 'Laughter is the best medicine', another adage, is no less wise for its commoness. In a world filled with so much suffering, humor could be the kindest thing I could bring.Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Laughter is good medicine, for it has this one seemingly magical property: it relieves STRESS. Stress relief is the ultimate best medicine, for a variety of reasons. Julia and I have just watched a very useful program on stress. First they showed how stress damages the circulatory system. Personality tests were done to determine which individuals were more 'hostile', and they were tracked over a thirty year period. These individuals easily angered consistantly show greater damage to this system. Our Laura, who possessed many dynamic and passionate endearing qualities I desperately miss, was an example. She could easily anger, and heart disease was her eventual undoing.
June 3, 2003 - B
"Best Medicine"
Then they showed stresses damage on our immune system. I have seen it in myself. If I get stressed, then I am more susceptible to getting a sinus headache or a cold. But there is hope. We can consciously control our stress reactions through learning methods of relaxation.
They studied various people who regularly practice meditation. But a curious thing was discovered when the researchers studied the meditators' brains. In contrast to the zombie state, as what some might think, a part of their brain became more active that becomes more active when the individual is 'on the hunt'. The meditators, by various acts of will, become MORE ALERT as they lower their breathing rate and heart rate.
It gives me great hope for my evolution as a person, that I might become healthier. These things are in our control. I am beginning to discover more and more my own power. I was very angry last night over something I will not discuss at present. I saw red, and I could feel it trying to take me over. But then I noticed a few lines of an article about 'willed conscious evolution', that just happened to be on one of my minimized browser screens, how certain emotions, if you give them too much sway, can inhibit your progress. Somehow I was able to let go of the fury, and soon Julia and I were laughing over ridiculous things.
The next day, I felt a natural sadness over the earlier anger producing incident, but this, too, passed. The value of the path I am on is unestimable.
If you can stand another quote, here is one:
We do not receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.Marcel Proust
The journey may be a long one, with many twists and turns, that ultimately leads to ourselves. I don't despair of the time, for it is all we have, and there are so many interesting road-stops along the way. Tonights documentary proved just such a one.
Namaste!
Once again, a conversation with myself:
June 4, 2003
"The Prism"
The Prism If I am not here,
then I am dreaming.
Am I dreaming?
Time and time again,
I return to the same point:
Am I mirroring reality
or am I creating it?
The reflection point,
a cast off of all my dreaming,
time and time again.Say stop! when you think it's enough.
But you won't, will you?
You keep probing,
you want more.
There must be deeper layers,
layers beneath layers
beneath layers.
And this is the reality:
Open your eyes to the prism.
Shine the light through yourself
and see all the pretty colors.
Time was,
I used to dream like that
and now I do again.
Time and time again.
''Hello, self!''
We are here again.
The point of no return
has passed
and I am safely home.
What will I declare now?
THIS IS NOW,
THIS IS HERE.
THIS IS NOT THE DAY OF THE DREAMING,
THIS IS THE DAY OF THE BE-ING.
JAL, 6 - 4 - 03 The most significant line may be 'Shining the light through myself', for it means I am recognizing I am the reference point for all that I experience. Everything is filtered through the subjectivity of my own experience.
I hope this poem has proved mentally intriguing for you.
The singer/actress Madonna sleeps on three thousand dollar sheets. Should I care? This bit of info is passed out as a teaser for an upshowing show about Madonna. Three thousand dollar sheets! The sheets I sleep on cost maybe ten dollars. Does Madonna sleep any more deeply on those rare and expensive fabrics than I do on mine?
June 5, 2003 - A
"Just A Smile"
just a smile . . .
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I doubt it. Somehow it's not the quality of what you're sleeping on that makes the sleep good. Okay, I don't want to be sleeping out under the stars, on top of an ant hill. I did that once. Laura and I stretched a blanket out in a remote desert area somewhere between Lake Havasu City and Yuma. The stars were brilliant, and we shared a cosmic moment. Then the ants, they did bite, and we shared a comic moment.
Quickly, we shook the blanket to dislodge any burrowing ants, and went elsewhere to sleep. Yes, Laura was adventurous. Timid people don't take risks like she did. She could make life really exciting. Oh, I miss her.
So I'm learning my own path of boldness. The MIND can 'go boldly where no one has gone before', to quote Jean Luc Picard. Yes, I'll chart my own pathway to the stars and I don't need a ship to do it, nevermind the impressive nature of Picard's starship Enterprise.
This mind-ship is mine, and I pilot it. I steer its helm and turn it this way and that, as I please. And I get to send you all these wonderful missives from my flight-path.
And I can put whatever I want in them. Julia and I endured a ton of advertising to learn of Rosie McDonald's battles to put whatever she wanted into the magazine that bore her name. She didn't want to go the standard safe, popular route. Sales declined and those in power over her took away her freedom.
I do not have 300,000 readers, as she once did. The few of you that I have are very precious and valued, indeed. But you let me say whatever I please, and THAT freedom is worth more than gold. I do not sleep on 3000 dollar sheets, and I do not have 300,000 readers. But I am rich, rich, rich.
And you know, I think even Madonna and Rosie might agree!
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© Joan Lansberry