May 29, 2002
"Piled Higher And Deeper"
. . . SOME days are 'less so'. Whether the fates have deigned you are up for 'Special High Intensity Training' or whatnot, these days are ALSO in contrast to the gray ordinary.
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If it were not for the hard-line, tough-sight way to go, things would be easier. Facts are hard, they don't digest well, their little pellets well, don't taste too well, either. That illusion that life should be easy haunts us still. Line the easy illusion with the prickly realization, under the surface, nagging. Hard-line, deep lined. Shake it loose? Not today.
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So what 'hard-line' crap did we deal with today? A work check 'is lost' at the bank. I am not paid. Now, battles with banks ensue. Shall checks bounce? When will I see the money?
All screams, mostly silent, some loud.
Hard-line reality? Shit happens. But some days are shittier than others. Here's to the 'Piled Higher and Deeper' club.
May 30, 2002
"Dealing With Banks"
Thus I was mildly, (I am mostly skeptical) reassured, but MOSTLY AMUSED to find the following as today's 'Moon Phase'.
| Reward loyalty. Attune yourself to abundance. Play some subliminal tapes. Apply some psychology. Put on some patchouli and enjoy a close encounter of the intimate kind. Deal with taxes, insurance and banking needs. Focus on joint resources. Detective work, research and investigation are favored. |
I will take it as a good omen.
June 1, 2002 - A
"Dealing With Banks - Part Two"
Young girl has no authority to change things. She can only copy my documents of proof so that the bank's RESEARCHER can determine what went wrong. Curiously enough, she admitted to seeing other case exactly similar. The error did not occur at our branch, but at this 'clearing house', that is all we know at present.
Still, I must wait until mid next week for results.
June 1, 2002 - B
"Simple Pleasures"
We watched the Harry Potter movie on the TV screen the other evening. It was just as charming as it was the first time I saw it. We only rented it, but I suspect when Lord Of The Rings comes out, we'll have that on our own DVD. I already have the soundtrack for it. I'd heard it on the Celtic Connections program the AWC radio station has on Sunday mornings, and was impressed with the wonderfully eerie sounds of the Elven music (as sung by modern-day Enya). I love that soundtrack. It has its thrilling moments, and did not realize at movie viewing times, how much a part it played in the magic.
This Saturday morning Laura and I took an hour jaunt to El Centro, a town in California about an hour's drive west of here. Perhaps we didn't see all of the town. For the most memorable thing about it is the vast number of churches for its size. Nearly on every corner, there seemed to be a church. I was told by a local, thirty-seven. However, there is at least one bright spot of culture in this small town. There's a game shop called Knightly Games which is well set up with every sort of game imaginable, and the space to play games there. In El Centro, that is where the 'Knight Life' is, to be sure.
The owners of this shop are friends of Laura's son Anton, so that is also a happy association. We saw many tempting things at their shop, for when we are more flush with money.
Nevermind, there are the simple pleasures, still. One such pleasure is an hummingbird feeder we've set up on our front porch. The red liquid REALLY attracts them, and I've caught glimpses of birds at it. Only GLIMPSES, however, and none that our camera could catch.
But today I saw an hummingbird not one yard (one meter) from me! At the pool here in this apartment complex, there's a pipe with running water that flows directly into the pool. That water attracts small Cactus Wrens, and those larger brown birds for which I have no name. It also attracts HUMMINGBIRDS! I watched entranced while one green bellied tiny beauty sipped, its body still while its thin wings fluttered rapidly, for quite a long while from the spout.
I believe it was an Anna's Hummingbird.
Anna's Hummingbird, JAL, 1998
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I have told you of the Spaniard who always put on his spectacles when about to eat cherries, that they might look bigger and more tempting. In like manner I make the most of my enjoyments; and though I do not cast my cares away, I pack them in as little compass as I can, and carry them as conveniently as I can for myself, and never let them annoy others. Robert Southey (1774-1843) |
I can't say I never let my troubles annoy others. No, that would not be true at all. But I do try to make the most of my enjoyments.
I was curious to learn who Robert Southey was. After a little search, I learned he had been Poet Laureate of Britain for 30 years. Under his aunt's influence, Southey began reading Shakespeare and trying to write his own poetry and plays as early as the age of eight. Later, Southey's family pushed him towards the clergy, but he found the idea distasteful, and continued to gravitate towards literature, philosophy, and politics. The next Poet Laureate was William Wordsworth.
Regarding today's Southey quote, I don't ever put on spectables to eat cherries. As I am near-sighted, this would not help. But I do enjoy my cherries!
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I should have eaten slowly, they are all gone now!
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The original cherries were drawn by Laura.
June 4, 2002
"Results!"
I am learning to be moderate. The treat of last night, one piece of raisin toast with butter, was eaten as slowly as I could, savoring each tasty morsel.
And I'm finally seeing some results. All day yesterday at work, I rejoiced in the easy breathability of a close fitting denim skirt which used to strain tightly against my bulging belly. Results (!), even if humble, will encourage me in my efforts.
June 8, 2002
"True Blue' Cleric"
It is his nephew that now carries on the Razhann name. Young Razhann is a happy magician, fully up to his tasks. My Erudite wizard is of a fiery temperment, while magician Razhann is calm, cool, calculating, ICE hard.
So, then two happy 'casters', what then of the cleric I'd wanted? If the problem with the first was the weakness, then I'd go for strength. Although short, Halflings are physically strong and sturdy. Tokkwin got all the way to level fourteen, and he was a cheerful, happy go lucky guy, but he still did not satisfy me.
I let him stew in his hometown while the other three heros advanced.
The discovery of a cleric with which I am happy came about entirely by accident. Ebonwolf, my wizard, needs Floglok eyes for his research. All pure casters must research their spells to obtain the most powerful ones. Floglok eyes, however, are not easy to obtain. The creatures which possess them live in the 'evil' areas of Norrath, where my 'goodly' aligned characters have never roamed. They are not even welcome there, and if the guards see them, they'll be KOS, killed ON SIGHT.
Laura has one 'evil' character, Ebonangel, a Dark Elf shadownight. A fearsome thing to behold, her first forays into 'good' areas were met with her death until she built her faction up, a tediously difficult process. You see, the Dark Elf shadownight has it hard both ways. Her race is considered EVIL by the fair elves and other denizens of Norrath, AND her class is considered evil. Shadownights, like their caster co-allies the necromancers, deal in death and resurrecting skeltons.
Ebonangel tried to battle the Frogloks in the Innothule Swamp by herself, and then with the aid of a very strong but very dumb troll. The slippery creatures eluded her, and she couldn't handle it. She needed assistance, INTELLIGENT assistence.
A magical person that could heal the wounded Ebonangel and ROOT those slippery Flogloks is what we needed. Enter the CLERIC again, this time as a DARK ELF:
Trublu, the cleric
It's not in the NUMBERS, though. Something else is going on. The High Elf wizard I'd tried seemed too wimpy, as well. Many other gamers, however, have made both High Elf clerics and wizards and gotten to 60th level. It's what I get from the character, what he seems to personify to me.
Now the Dark Elf cleric has no choice as his diety. He must worship Innoruuk, the Prince of Hate. How could I, a person who seeks to be a loving person, reconcile this? It is important as a role player that I be able to identify with my characters.
So I pondered this. The description of Innoruuk in the 'official' guide to Everquest describes him as follows:
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Followers of Innoruuk include nearly the entire Dark Elven race who regard him as their "Father". They believe that Hate is a creative force, or rather the creative force in the universe, a creativity born of destruction. Love and kindness are tools for those too ignorant to know what they want or too cowardly to do what is necessary to obtain it. It is only through the total distain of your enemies that you can gain true power over them. Pity and mercy have no power when confronted with contempt and viciousness. It is the honest belief of the followers of Innoruuk that if they were to hate strongly enough they could destroy all of Norrath.
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I hadn't a clue until I'd taken Trublu's picture and noticed the SKULLS around the neck of his Mithral Breastplate. Where had I seen skulls draped thusly before? It dawned on me: KALI, the Hindu triple Goddess of creation, preservation, and destruction!
With amusement, I later noticed Ebonangel's armor is also covered with SKULLS:
Ebonangel, and her SKULL covered torso
But listen to the first part of this poem:
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I am the dance of death that is behind all life the ultimate horror the ultimate ecstasy I am existence I am the dance of destruction that will end this world the timeless void the formless devouring mouth I am rebirth Let me dance you to death Let me dance you to life . . .
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