"Domestic Concerns and Inventive Thinking", "One True Thing", "Sweet Dreams and Happy News"
May 6, 1999
"Domestic Concerns and Inventive Thinking"
"Domestic Concerns and Inventive Thinking"
On a whim I checked out my horoscope for the past few days. There's some odd coincidences there:
We did, indeed, have our share of home and domestic concerns this week. However I was busy whining about lack of creative inspiration. That's a VERY emotional issue for me! But, yes, we've had a spate of house troubles that haven't been reported!Wednesday May 5, 1999
Home and domestic concerns move to the forefront. Emotional matters keep your attention.
Thursday May 6, 1999
Your thinking is more original and inventive. You focus on future possibilities and plans. Contact with friends or a new interest is possible.
Our AC wouldn't shut off even when we turned it off. Laura had to trip the breaker switch one night it was like an ice box in the bedroom. So we had our AC fixed. That took two visits from the repairman and 183 bucks. I think they charge high in Arizona because they know they can get it from us. When it gets as hot as 120F (48C) in the summer, we'll do ANYTHING to be cool.
Then, the day after that, I was walking down the hall to the bedroom. My right foot got wet. I'd gotten my left foot wet earlier, while in the back bathroom, and had to change socks. I didn't like having to change socks a second time. THEN I thought, water around bathroom sink, it's probably a spill. BUT the hall wetness, that's not likely a spill THERE! Water must be leaching out to the hall from the sink. I emptied the cabinet out, and Laura had a look. The horrid plumber that butchered our pipes two years had created a kink in the pipe. The kink cracked. Hence leak. A call to Brutinel, 63 bucks later, and THAT'S fixed. The good plumber, with a look of utter disbelief, showed us the piece of shoddy work. Hopefully the bad plumber has since been put out of business.
But as those emotional creative concerns take the fore front in my mind, I didn't tell you all that 'boring' stuff. I was too busy exulting, showing you all the 'original and inventive' plans I have for the poetry pages.
I don't believe in astrology, but sometimes it can be eeriely correct. I wonder if it's not because of the stars, but because the astrologer is somehow in tune with the psychic pulse of the universe and intuits these things. However, in any case, it's not wise to become over dependent on such seers. I'm recalling an earlier anxious period of my life, when I'd consult five different horoscopes in order to decide whether I should go to a party that night. If you find yourself doing anything like that, quit cold turkey! It's hard, but you have to rely on your OWN intuition.
Happy News Flash! I have another poem illustrated.
My lunch of two teriyaki chicken breastlets was sort of crammed down my gullet. It was an irritating necessity keeping me away from my project. I've NEVER been this enthralled in something that I nearly forget to eat, except for that light headed hunger.
May 7, 1999
"Something Even More Exciting than Eating!"
YES, I've got Not the First Time, one of my more recent poems illustrated! Amazingly all the graphics and the html came to only 29K! It loads in a jiffy. Well, I DO have some sewing to do, so I'd better get at it. But I just had to tell you all the news first.
I have had a late night. Actually we all had a late night last night, but not all of us were doing the same things. The SCA was having a 'beer bash, which attracted Laura, Julia and Shayna. But not me. I am not a party animal. My shy nature doesn't do well at such raucous gatherings, as I prefer to shrink back. So as they left for their adventure, I gave them each a kiss and my blessing.
May 8, 1999
"What a Night!!"
Then I sat down to my adventure. Kicking monster butt was more my speed last night. With the knowledge gained from Prima's Official Strategy Guide, I'd learned where I had gone wrong in the second scenario of "Long Live the Queen". I'd lost two heroes, and had my two castles nearly devastated. So I restarted the scenario. The main goal of this particular test, "Guardian Angels" was to get eight heroes as strong as possible for the last scenario of this campaign. So I did just that. When each hero became as advanced as he could, he took a castle and stayed there. I held off on taking the last fortress until all the newer heroes had visited each area in which he could advance, and then sent the most powerful of the newer heroes, armed to the teeth to take the last stronghold.
I was in the middle of that last great battle, when Laura and Julia had arrived home. They'd had quite a bit to drink, and weren't in a condition to tell me what all had transpired. I knew I'd have to wait until morning to learn.
Oh, I gather it was quite a rowdy affair. Laura had tripped and fell into a deep hole, and everyone had to help her crawl out. She's awful sore this morning. She was rather anaesthetized, so she didn't know until morning how badly she'd hurt her hand and knee, but mostly her ribs.
She's full of ow-wees today, and fell back asleep, after recounting the night's doings. We'll have to wait to hear how Shayna's night went, however. She's been aching to experience the world, and she just might have increased her knowledge last night. She met a shy, quiet man named Brad there who she went home with. Of course, the two were encouraged to pair off by all their friends. Julia made one of her prize puns this morning. When next we see Shayna, we'll have to ask her "How was the 'Brad-wurst'?"
I'm feeling like a slug, and I'm just lazing my way through the day. Sometimes one has to do that. I did call my Mother and wish her a happy Mother's Day. I'd mailed her card only on Friday, and knew she's not yet have it. But I'm proud that at least I finally printed out journal entries for her. The last missive was from around the middle of February. So all the Weighty Matters from April 3rd to present (I figured the older ones weren't newsworthy enough), and sections 26 and 27 of ATTWT are now on their way to her. The printouts made a package about 1/2 inch thick (a little over a centimeter). It should keep her busy for a while.
May 9, 1999
"Feeling Like a Slug"
I've awakened from a strange and frightening dream. But I'll tell you about that later. I truly was a slug yesterday. I didn't do anything except dry two loads of wash and fold and put away one load of towels. The other load is still in the dryer, awaiting removal. I passed by several very full wastebaskets, thinking, "I'll gather them up and put the trash out tomorrow." Today is yesterday's tomorrow. I'll prod myself later.
May 10, 1999
"One True Thing"
Laura and Julia went to the SCA's local archery event yesterday morning. Shayna went along to watch. Not me. I didn't feel like being out in the heat. Was I tired from the earlier night's revel? Laura had been too sore from falling into the pit to go. She didn't think she could sit comfortably on the hard metal chairs usually at these functions. But she urged Julia and I to go and have fun. She was right about the chairs. The junior high cafeteria in which it was held had long tables with attached rectangular seats only 12 by 8 inches. Our ample overhanging posteriers gave us the urge to stand up occasionally. But it was a pleasant gathering. We enjoyed talking with a couple from Benson. They'd come a long ways for the festivities. I shared an interest in Celtic music with them.
The (incipient) shire invited a guy who had studied early Renaissance dance in depth. He was to teach us in dances after the feasting. We got a chance to speak with him. He's a young, slender man with coloring similar to mine, reddish hair, fair skin and freckles. He really knew his subject. Julia took part in the first dance, a (sp?) Branle. We all got into a circle, holding hands. There were three parts to this dance, each more complex than the first. I tripped over my own feet a few times, but it was fun trying.
We rested through out the second dance, and enjoyed watching the others try. The "Dance of the Flowers" looked difficult, and a fre of the couples dropped out from confusion. Yet it was fun discovering what the authentic documented dances were like of that time. The dance instructor also had a full basket with tapes and CDs of Renaissance dance music. I'd recognised some as ones I'd almost bought when I'd ordered the Russell Oberlin CDs from Lyrichord several months ago. When the finances get straightened out, I may send for the Estampita albums.
Cynthia's mother was there to take professional photos of people. She lured Julia and I. We dare not write another check, but Cheryl takes VISA. Julia can't resist a photo opportunity and pulled out her plastic. So we had pictures taken of the two of us. Months from now, I'll have the results to scan. (Oh, the blessed immediacy of digital . . .)
So possibly I was pooped from the late night. I didn't care. I was a slug. I read my favorite journals and played a little Heroes III. My heroes are starting to see progress in the campaigns third scenario, having captured two enemy outposts, one of which generates the troops aligned with my strongest heroes. And two of my beginning castles are now producing angels.
I was getting quite involved in the game and was kind of reluctant to quit. But Laura had wanted to watch a video, and had thoughtfully picked one I might like, a serious drama called One True Thing, rather than some "Kick Ass" count the dying bodies "Shoot 'Em Up".
Not that this movie didn't feature its share of death. It did, but in the form of a forty eight year old woman dealing with getting cancer. The father asked his daughter, an ambitious young woman starting out in the journalism world, to come home and help his mother. During this time of crisis, she learns a lot about her family.
No other movie we've ever watch has provoked such in depth thought and conversation. Laura had noticed it was written by a woman, and thus showed the unique strength of women. The husband is an emotionally distant man who until the very end didn't recognise the reality of what was happening. He didn't need to. His daughter was now at home, doing the things that kept his world going, like making Thanksgiving dinner. It wasn't until the very end that this little boy trapped in a man's body came to the full realization of who his wife was, his "One True Thing".
This movie affected each of us in different ways. Shayna seemed the most upset by it, so Laura took her with her when she returned the video. While they were out discussing the movie, Julia and I got into a heavy conversation.
I spoke of my loved ones who had died of cancer. The movie helped me to think of my Grandmother and realize what her last days were like. It was really good that she passed away. It was 'her time'. I embraced that finality with a deeper comfort.
But my Dad was only sixty-one, one year older than Laura's current age. He was much too young. He hadn't lived a full life. He'd not had the happiest times with his second wife, so his death seems a robbery.
Julia spoke of how her mother grieved for five years after her father had died. Perhaps when we don't acknowledge the possibility of a loved one dying, when they do, the grieving process takes longer. Thus Laura, with her heart condition, has worked with Julia and I to address that possibility. Laura's father had been lively to the very last day, when his brain aneurism burst. It was a totally unexpected thing.
Some deaths are like that. You never really know. And thus, that's the after thoughts which affected Shayna. She was fully realizing Laura's vulnerability and coming to terms with it. Yet to one extent or the other, we're ALL vulnerable.
No one likes to think about this. It's why we invent religions to help us swallow the bitter pills of life. Julia mentioned how her Mother's faith seemed little comfort after her husband died. But for some, apparently it does.
One deals with these matters the best one can. Certainly an honest assessment is best.
So here it is, 3:30am. I've been awakened by a frightening dream. I was in the hospital, with some terminal illness. Julia and Laura weren't there at the moment and I was lonely. I know a little of what it's like from Laura's experiences. When the 'tunnel' starts closing down, I'll know it, unmistakeable. In my dream, the 'tunnel' started closing down. I knew layers of myself were evaporating. Where was I going? I wasn't going "HOME" again. I wouldn't be home again, in the cosy living room with family and friends. I didn't know where I was going. But it wasn't "HOME". If there is reincarnation, the final destination will be somewhere completely new. As the layers were peeling back, leaving less and less of me, I woke up with a jolt. And a need to write.
No one ever knows when life's final event is going to happen, for any one. All we know is it's gonna happen. Oh, Christians like to hope for the trumpet sounding, so that they don't have to face death. But hope or no, it comes to us all. As lonely as this horrid fact is, it's unescapable. It's best to look it in the eye, square on, and grip it by the shoulders with a fierce hold, before thrusting it back. Some day, we won't have that power. But while we do, while we do, let's grip and thrust with all our might.
I fell back to sleep after a toilet visit thinking of today's journal entry. So that probably influenced my dreams. I was sitting down to dinner taking a fork to a fat round ravioli filled with ricotta cheese. The creamy yumminess went down easy. My next ravioli looked a little different:
May 11, 1999
"Sweet Dreams and Happy News"
good enough to eat!The above confection was under my fork. It, too, released a luscious creaminess. Although it appears that it could be filled with more of a donut style cream filling, it had ricotta cheese innards as well.
It was a pleasant dream to wake up from!
I'd saved the stylized wisteria blooms from Iko's latest web page set design. She studied botany in school, and so her new sets will be influenced by that.
I've now been added to the Fen Journals Crew, so you'll find my listing there. Other happy news awaited me in yesterday's email. My poetry pages have been added to the Poetry Superhighway list of Individual Poets. It's a long list, but if you wait for it to load, you'll see my link there.
AND the latest issue of Over the Gate is out, featuring YOURS TRULY among the other writers!
(Note of May 16th! It WAS there. The editor took it offline to pursue a book contract he's been offered on his "time in Wales living with two cats, a bottomless cake-tin and a never-empty coffee-pot." It's something he richly deserves for his good writing, so I give him my best wishes.People have been writing us, letting us know they enjoy what we're doing, as well. A Gadfly posted the following to our guestbook:
What an inspiring/despairing, delightful/frightful and generally loving site.The thought, love, and creativity expressed here make it a really unique place that I shall re visit again and again.That message made my day. And Rita from Australia wrote directly to me in email:As a skeptic and non theist I found your extensive research material valuable.
As a married male I confess that the other part of the triad story, the gender divergence, was and remains unimportant to me. The artistic triad that you are is all that really is left after we leave this place. You make my world brighter by sharing yours with me.
Thank you.
What a great web sight ......oops..site. The best I have seen for such a long time.Thanks, dear visitors! I really do enjoy learning when I'm helping to inspire and entertain people.I would like you to know that your kuala is lovely...but feel the need to tell you that it is really a koala....& that it is not a bear at all.. It is a marsupial...a mammal that has a pouch to rear its young in. I hope you don't mind me pointing that out to you. Keep up the entertainment.....love Rita.from Australia.
I've finished illustrating Grandmother's Old House, a poem written in 1996. At last getting over my timidity with the Adobe Illustrator, I've used it for quite a few of the picture effects. I'm really quite pleased with the results.
"No Entry, Just Food Report"
10:30am - piece of cheesecake, the last of my share - it was SO tasty, a happy memory now
1:00pm - two pieces Groton's fish, tater tots, cranberry punch
2:30pm - mug of 7-up
6:00pm - baked turbo fish, green salad, garlic bread - Shayna made this. It was delicious!, mug of water
7:30pm - mug of 7-up
"Sleepy, Yet Busy"
I'm still groggy, but have already done some useful things. I took a bath and washed my hair, got dressed, then took the trash out, did the dishes, a load of wash is probably now ready to be put in the dryer. . .11:00am - mug of 7-upI think maybe it's better for me to do the work in the morning and surf and play later. Yesterday I played Heroes III too much, and didn't even have a journal entry. But I was kind of resting on my laurels from the creative work done the day before.
2:30pm - green salad, fries, 1/2 can salmon, cranberry juice
4:00pm - mug of water
7:00pm - mug of water
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