April 18, 2004

"Visit To The Park"
9:50pm

Julia suggested a walk in the West Wetland Park. So I layered up against the sun and off we went. It was good to see how much it's changed since we'd last been there.

This is the imput place for any boats entering the Colorado River

An unusual floor deco at one ramada

Spring blooms in the desert

April 21, 2004

"Of Cats And Humans"
1:23am

On noticing a distinct, acrid and unmistakable odor coming in through the window, Julia declared:

That cat, so damn assertive! He wants to be recognized. He wants to make his mark upon the world. He wants to say, "I, the great cat, have been here!"

As with cats, so with humans. I, however, hope to leave a more pleasant smelling mark!

May 1, 2004

"Just To Say I Did It"
4:21am

A brief nap, and then I've been up all night. But I finished my mandala, and I think it will still look good after some more sleep!

May 7, 2004

"Once Upon A Time"
11:16pm

I do not know where this shall take me tonight. I write with quick key strokes, like on a horse flying fast. Is it in this one moment of illumination or the other that I shall find the moment of inspiration?

But inspiration I need. The movie of the Japanese countryside, with the warriors in action, haunts me still. Tom Cruise, as the American warrior learning from the samurai a code of honor, did well. The movie speaks to me as I think of Laura and her warrior spirit. I assured her that in her passing, she was a warrior still and would always be our warrior. She needed to hear that, with the last bits of consciousness remaining to her. She needed to hear that.

I watch that movie and I think of courage. I think of when the American tells the young Japanese boy, after the little one confesses that he would be scared to die in battle, how he confesses, that although grown, he, too, is always scared.

But there is courage, and the warrior is impelled forward on the strength of something he believes in, something he values so strongly that he will continue, despite fear.

I have seen too much of the dishonored warrior. This morning, the TV was long with speeches of those who went awry in questioning the Iraqi prisoners and humiliating them. On and on the speeches went. How many times can one say they are sorry for the actions of a few, but remember the actions of the many, who did behave honorably? Glad I was when my co-worker wearied of it, and wanted to turn the radio on.

There is nothing we civilians can do about this, except remember the soldiers who DID do right. And this is not where I wanted my meander to go.

But a meander takes us where it will. I have said of 'The Last Samurai', how it made me think of Laura. And so, too, did another movie we watched this week. 'Big Fish' was about a man who told tales, tall tales to entertain, and the son who was trying to understand his father. Understanding comes at the end and there was a clue that there was at least some truth in the man's tales.

Laura, too, was a storyteller. Hers, though almost fantastic, were all true, however. That, I suppose, is where the similarity ends. Many of her tales remain in her book. For instance, we can now read her tale of Gor, and imagine how she told it, with wide sweeping hand gestures.

All good storytellers know how to trick time, and give it a spin. That's how we win, finding all that 'stored time'. Pushed into rhyme, prodded into prose, anyway it goes, it's left to live again in the mind, remind, rewind, hit 'play'... "Once upon a time..."

Once upon a time, there was a brilliant storyteller with a warrior's spirit, and her name was Laura. So very many things make me think of her. I was indeed privileged to know and love Laura Darlene Lansberry.

May 10, 2004

"The Dubious Quality of Beans"
7:18pm

"The mundane bean has for at least eight centuries been regarded as the epitome of worthlessness." So says Michael Quinion in explaining the origins of the expression 'doesn't amount to a hill of beans'. The thinking behind the phrase is "if one bean was worthless, a whole hill of them would be even more so"

Nutritionists, on the other hand, will defend the economical bean, asserting that the humble beans "contain iron, folate, zinc, and a bit of calcium."

So they do, among other unique properties.

Saturday, the proprietor of the produce store we frequent gave us some bags of a new kind of bean he'd received. He said they were 'Mea Culpa' beans. At least that's what the name sounded like. But the mayacoba beans are an import from nearby Mexico. 'Mea Culpa' WOULD be a better name.

The small yellow beans tripled in size when soaked. We had so many beans, I had beans in soup, beans over tostadas with cheese, beans with vegetables over rice . . .

. . . until my digestive system said 'no more'.

I remember an old poem my Mother told me:

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot. The more you toot, the better you feel. So let's have beans at every meal!

My partner Julia tells me I remembered wrong, and that the phrase is NOT 'magical fruit', but 'musical fruit'. Or she said perhaps it could be 'tragical fruit'. She vaguely remembered that some religions proscribe the eating of beans. And sure enough, Google turned up an interesting page about the "Pythagorean Abstinence from Beans". All sorts of ridiculous reasons are given for the abstinence, even including because vrykolakes (vampires) were seen in a field eating beans! Aristotle tried to explain this prohibition, stating "because they are like genitals" and "because they are like the gates of Hades", since the stems are not jointed, allowing easy passage for souls.

However Aristotle named the mostly likely reason, which "most probably refers to their property of producing flatulence, which can destroy mental peace by keeping one awake with a rumbling stomach."

Ah, yes, the bean is nutritious fare, cheap in monetary cost, but can be expensive in other ways!

May 16, 2004

"Warriors Of The Widescreen Cinema"
1:41am

If I get up, I will ease my back. So I am up. I am replete with memories of movie, of swinging swords and valiant heroes. It is an odd thing, both the two main characters of 'Interview With A Vampire' have now starred in warrior flicks. Tom Cruise is the disillusioned and weary American soldier, gone to Japan to later become 'The Last Samurai'. Brad Pitt is the mythical hero Aquilles in 'TROY'.

In one, the vast acres of Japanese countryside are the aesthetic backdrop. In the other, the vast acres of ancient Trojan countryside (really present day Malta and Mexico), are the aesthetic backdrop. I like the way 'TROY' captures a great feel of what life might have been like 3200 years ago.

Brad Pitt is all muscle and he does much for his costumes of leisure and of war. Ladies may be swooning. However I prefer, as did Helen, the more refined Orlando Bloom as the beautiful Paris. Bloom recaptures his archery skills learned in a previous life as an Elf. Peter O'Toole did excellent as the Trojan king. He brought a real believability and humanity to his role, which I hope gets rewarded in an Oscar.

Still, it is mostly Pitt which dominates the screen. In the earlier movie, Samurai, Tom Cruise as Captain Algren learns loyalty and honor, thereby reclaiming the shambles of his desperate life. In Troy Pitt as Acquilles learns he has two choices, one which leads to an easy and safe life, and one which involves great risk, but which also will mean an immortality in which his name will live on through out time.

'Remember Me', Josh Groban sings while the credits play. It is a lush, romantic song which sings of hope that 'time can be transcended'. Groban expresses the passion of the dreamer who believes himself 'the one star that keeps burning'. It is true that we must make for ourselves these stars of hope and inspiration.

We can imbue them with all sorts of meaning, images of ideal self to inspire us and give us something for which to aim. However, this may take more thought than the impetuous warrior who rages into battle can summon. Oddly, I found more courage displayed in the old and frail Trojan king who sneaks into the enemy camp to beg for the body of his fallen son. It is this moving scene which causes the movie to rise above mere 'slash and dash', and which will be the most memorable to me.

Anyone with a hot head of steam and muscles can charge into the fray. It is all the rush of testesterone. But can one do what calls to one's heart, despite fraility and difficulty, for that is the true test of courage? Knowing the fear, can we face it? The true warrior must first face his own fears.

I suspect those who have been on real fields of war, Iraqi or Vietnamese soil, not those of the grand movie vistas, can speak eloquently of these matters. Still, for the escape of movies Cruise, Pitt and Bloom are fun to watch.