April 7, 2002
"What New Images"
When to the earliest of morning light we rise and hear the chirping of birds, I wonder if they have any thoughts while they are chirping. What makes them feel compelled to sing? Is it the same thing that drives me to this screen to make my own quiet noise?
Whatever their motivations, I still enjoy their song. There's different types of song out there. ''Tweee-e-e-e-ete, tweee-e-e-e-ete, tweee-e-e-e-ete, tweee-e-e-e-ete, tweee-e-e-e-ete, tweee-e-e-e-ete, tweete, tweete, '' some long trills followed by a few short, is the main song. Then there's a lower ''Chur-pa, chur-pa,'' though not so frequently. And one bird has a very rapid song, staccato-like.
It's been a productive weekend, and I still have the major part of Sunday left. Saturday morning was for shopping. Dismayed I was, earlier this week, to find a few of my blouses too tight, when I was looking through my densely packed clothes rack for something cool to wear. I managed winter because the turtlenecks I wear stretch. The size large (14-16) things just stretch and stretch and stretch. Woven cotton, unfortunately, doesn't. I've taken to securing the strained fronts by pinning the section that gaps open with several discreetly hidden safety pins. But there are too many blouses which are too snug for even that.
So off we went in search of cool summer blouses. I chose the first store we went to because I didn't want to deal with the vastness of the MEGA MEGA food store and department store all combined in one. I will name this store as I am so unhappy with them. I chose 'Target' because I thought they'd be inexpensive. Cheap items they had indeed, but oh, so disappointing. Whoever is their clothes buyer has taken the opinion that larger people are fat slobs who don't deserve pretty clothes. We, in their vaunted opinion, don't care what our bodies look like, so we shouldn't care what rag we put over them. The prejudice is obvious, for I noticed the things for thinner people were not of this hideous ugliness.
The next store we went to was much more promising. Their offerings were not as cheap, but the selections decent and flattering as they can be. Three blouses selected, and over 75 bucks poorer, we headed home. I didn't, however, have the happy joy of new clothes I usually do. The reason for the purchase took nearly all the joy out of it.
Still, this morning I have some happy news to report. I woke with a furious hunger and thought this might be a good time to get on the scale. I have lost another pound, now four pounds lighter than my all-time high, and I do not want to ever find that pound again!
But such dreariness, isn't this? Talk of weight and diets is BORING, BORING, BORING!
I do have more interesting things to occupy my mind. This weekend, I have made not only one mandala, but two! I am trying a different approach to them, a sort of mind-focusing that leads its own inspiration to their creation.
click on thumbnail for full size image
Other thing quite entirely was the focus of last night's mandala. Laura's Mother is not well, and had to go to the hospital. I was thinking of 'sending her healing energy', though such a thing is 'not logical', and could be merely a myth. Still, I was thinking of her, and this deeply peaceful image evolved.
click on thumbnail for full size image
April 13, 2002
"Yes, New Images!"
In my last entry I spoke of looking forward to 'what new images await me'. Images I have for you today, indeed. They are far more happy than some of the news in our little world. It doesn't appear that Julia got any results from that job interview onto which we pinned so many hopes. Quite discouraging it is, as we have no idea when she'll get a job. This town is ideal in so many ways, except for the 27% unemployment rate.
But we soldier on, we do. I'm grateful I have a rare skill, or likely I would not have been so lucky in finding a job.
We heard from Laura's Mother regarding her doctor's report. She doesn't eat right, not nearly enough protein. That is no surprise, for she often saves money by skimping on food. A piece of toast for breakfast, lunch and dinner isn't healthy. Also, they suspect her of having Parkinson's disease and are testing her for that. Her head has long trembled, so that could be the cause.
Sadder news we got, regarding Julia's Mother, however. She's been suffering from constant coughing. The biospy last month revealed she has a golf ball sized tumor in her upper left lung. The doctor said it was inoperable, but we encouraged her to get a second opinion. The first doctor Glen saw said his lung cancer was inoperable, also. But he was proved wrong, and he got nearly two more years of good life after the operation. So we are concerned about her, as well, and send her good thoughts, for what they're worth.
In the midst of this unhappiness, at least I have pretty pictures for you. While Julia sat chatting with her Mother, I felt in the mood to sketch her. She was pleased with the results, after I de-emphasised the phone. The picture was more 'classical' that way, and she is happy to share it with you.
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Still, she looks all classical, so any sacrifice for the cause of art, right? Well, almost any.
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To what now shall the visions be?
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April 18, 2002
"Playful Moments"
Poor Julia has been suffering much with the hives, or at least we think it's the hives. She itches a lot, and her face has been swollen. By today, Thursday, the swelling has subsided and she looks almost like herself. But Monday morning, the swelling was at its worse. The household was unusually tense that day. Julia used her ailment as a way to lighten the mood, and for a few moments, Laura and I burst out laughing.
She bowed low before us, and addressed us with a Chinese accent, calling us 'Honorable'.
''Get the camera,'' Laura urged, still laughing:
Oriental Julia!
Later this week, tenseness behind us, many playful moments have lifted us out of the nevertheless mundane. Some I will not speak of. Some I will.
Goal it was, to go the the coffee shop/book store tonight, for a bit of escape from the house. Cool drinks with their fluffy whipped toppings in us, we then wandered through the book store. Laura had something in specific for which she was searching. I could tell by the directness of her path. A little help from a clerk, and the item was found.
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In full light,
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