April 4, 2004 A

"Pics of Us"
1:45pm

I am not moved to words this afternoon. But I am moved to share a couple of our pics. The following one of me was taken back in November 2003, at the Unitarian 'Hobo Stew' event they traditionally hold every year after Thanksgiving.

I am wearing Julia's coat because it's soft and warm

non cropped view

This picture of Julia was taken yesterday as we were leaving the county fair:

Her smiling face is always pleasant to look upon.

April 4, 2004 B

"I've Suspected This"
9:10pm

I enjoy reading Julia's Mensa magazines when they arrive. I'm going to quote one paragraph in it that confirms what has been my experience as an introvert. The introversion is not due to 'social anxiety'. I've been suspecting this:

Quoting from an entry of January 7, 2004:

I have a slow mind.
I need space and time to think.
I don't see any way around this.
Too many variables in the 'strange' situation.

In that entry of self-analysis, I concluded, "It means I operate on an entirely different wavelength."

The Mensans have studied the current research on introversion, as the majority of their members have this characteristic. My analysis is indeed borne out via science:

"Now we can actually see the brain in action. Thinking literally takes a longer route within the brain of introverts. The parasympathic branch of the autonomic nervous system is dominent in introverts. We have more trouble sleeping because we have more active brains, but we also have more ways to protect ourselves. Introverts are not as prone to slow down or burn out at midlife. It is believed that introverts live longer..." (Mensa bulletin, April/May 2004)

A page on neuroscience for kids, thus easy to understand, explains the three parts of the automatic nervous system, and the differences between sympathetic stimulation and parasympathetic stimulation. As mucus production is increased and heart rate and force decreased under parasympathetic stimulation, those with that part of their ANS dominent would be more likely to have sinus headaches and low blood pressure. Both of these are common to me. The lower blood pressure may be the thing that enables introverts to live longer.

As I've sensed the different wiring of my brain, so also I've noticed I am not keeping pace with many middle aged folks. I've heard several say they feel 'old' and they are nearly the same age as I. For me at age 45, I still feel young. Okay, the joints may not be as limber as they used to, but my mind is as agile as ever. I do not think I shall ever grow senile. I see myself always learning, always growing. Knowing now that this characteristic is related to that 'dominent parasympathic branch', I can understand my 'shyness' more, and be more at ease in social situations. The 'anxiety' only comes when we do not understand ourselves, and expect ourselves to react as extroverts.

As ever, the best advice is to 'be true to ourselves'.

April 5, 2004

"Observations At The Ice Cream Parlor"
5:41pm

Monday evening, how convenient it was after dropping off some videos to go further up the street to the ice cream shop. A german chocolate cake mixture fully satisfied my chocolate cravings while I observed the people come and go. Sometimes, no words at all are necessary to communicate.

Three brown haired teenage girls entered, each of tight pants and a certain swish to their walk which gave clue that they are hot and ready, should any interested male take interest. One short and thin, one tall and thin, and one pudgy and short who wore six inch heels in an attempt to elongate herself picked their sweet treats and left.

Another was a fair skinned and blonde haired family, all except for the red haired and red faced man. They gave off strange vibes, a sense of frequent quarrels, even a 'red neck' feel. The man confirmed that observation when he said he'd rather be drinking beer than eating ice cream. I was glad when they left.

Then a well to do middle aged couple came in. I could just tell it, money concerns were not a problem for them. They were refined and not apt to quarrel much, but have stony silences when angry. The woman, thin and brown haired, was finicky. She wanted diet ice cream, but not the diet ice cream they offered. Finally, she decided on something and they each walked out with tiny bowls of ice cream.

They took seats outside, while the man tried to shake the worries of his work. All was a sense of restraint about them.

Meanwhile, unrestrained Julia and I happily dove into our goodies with joyous greed. I gave of my surplus to Julia, who'd finished her pistachio shake early, and she accepted the spoonfuls, smiling.

All the eaters of ice cream, and who of them enjoyed their ice cream the most? I venture to say it was Julia and I!

April 8, 2004

"Shopping Frenzy"
8:26pm

A frenzy of shopping and I must settle myself down after the excitement. First, I checked up on an old order which had never arrived. The standard four to six weeks had been well surpassed, and no arrival. 'Paypal' had never alerted the business of the order! Pay medium of dubious friendliness, indeed! Anyway, that is a matter further along in process.

And one of those glossy catalogs which arrive at the house regularly did not fail to entice. Colorful seersucker shirts promised wrinkle free ease. I wanted three, aqua, green and tangerine. But I wanted the aqua in short sleeve and the other two in long sleeve. Alas, they were out of my size in the long sleeved version. So I comforted myself with a 'gold sunwashed canvas' shirt and a 'dark russet herringbone rangeley flannel' shirt to make up for it. I just love the descriptive terms they use!

So now I have lovely anticipation ahead! Blouse satisfaction has more than doubled, since I've discovered the fine fit of men's XL! You may notice in the picture in Sunday's entry that coat buttons and blouse buttons are in opposing sides. Blouse possession has more than doubled, with the greater ease of acquiring well fitting items.

Not so with skirts, however. This catalog features an inadequate too narrow skirt for 45 dollars. I cannot imagine why a skirt, which is simple to make, costs ten dollars more than a long sleeved shirt, which is much more complicated to make.

So I buy lots of fabric for skirts, but they rarely get made. Perhaps I will motivate myself and some of that fabric will be transformed into skirts and various other needful items.

Meanwhile, I have anticipation of new blouses.

April 10, 2004

"Meander After Movie"
9:51pm

This poem WILL make more sense if you've seen 'The Ladykillers' starring Tom Hanks!

Unsure of destination as any wanderer, I set off in no particular direction. The movie that made me laugh, Tom Hank's southern charm, his white cape dashing, his wicked eye sparkling, a plot played to perfection. And the laughing fat lady sings in the end. Gamblers all, on life, they played their parts true to the line. Brothers Coen made us laugh, and that's enough at that. Where Art Thou, Brother? Better not be in the root cellar with the thieves! Ladykillers? The lady laughs in the end. Think again if you want to win. Laughter is among the finest riches. Gamble on that, easy conscience there, You know how to divide the score. Say no more, you can have your share and the pot is still full. Another night well spent in large screen amusement, I hang my hat to rest, The conclusion is good. JAL, 4 - 10 - 04

Um, the conclusion is good, with the exception that maybe the lady could have chosen a better institution for her money donations. But it's a movie that made both Julia and I laugh, and for that it gets points.

April 12, 2004

"Mandala Before Midnight"
11:31pm

Tired, just want to say I did it! I finished my mandala, which I began ten days ago and had left sitting. You can see the bells, the initial element in this mandala, were started from the flower in the day divider, but with a few changes.

April 14, 2004

"Roses In Remembrance"
4:39am

       

Today is Laura's birthday. She would have been sixty five today.

April 17, 2004

"Thinking About The Positive"
2:10pm

The cool breeze settles into the house just right. The large window in the living room lets in a lot of light. We are fortunate in the house positioning that the sun does not enter until after sunset, in the evening.

So I will not look at the hideous and hard to clean carpet. I won't regard the puniness of the kitchen and the difficulty of food assemblage. I won't think of how nice it would be to have one extra bedroom, which we could use for various purposes.

Today, on the fresh air scented afternoon, I will think about the positive. I will be grateful that our door doesn't open onto a public walkway, as it did in one apartment we rented in Tucson. Any attempts at fresh air were met by onlookers and inlookers as we went about our business. No, although I don't use it much, I treasure that small fenced in porch area that insures our privacy.

I could use it much. Imaginative use of this space might enhance our lives. Is it because I get reluctant to clean the chairs each time I go out there to sit? For the price of laziness, some open air delights are being missed.

Still, I enjoy the tree just beyond that fence and the birds that perch there and visit our feeders. Their song has inspired me more than once.

I will think about the positive. I got some wash done today. The stains came out of my new aqua seersucker blouse. I bought a card for my mother's birthday, printed out four of my recent poems which I enclosed and got it sent off. She should get it before her birthday. I enjoyed one solo tiny pink flower and the purple blooms on a nearby bush while pushing the laundry basket. And my 'twir-WEET' song bird is still at it, although I think he's added a new trill.

Gentle 'thrills' this Saturday, all infused with the deep breaths of that fresh air, are enough for me.