February 23, 2001 "I Can See It" I Can See It In the darkness, a sparkling light never seems so far away. It is the light of the home portal, the aimpoint making our steps sure. To the faith that informs us, and strengthens us, we cast our eye. It is the long shot, but I can see it, from here I can see it. One step will lead to the next. JAL, 2-23-01

February 24, 2001 "Good Time Party Feeling"   Oh, the consuming passion,  this fire will not die,  when to true love of life  we give ourselves  with gaiety.  ~ ~~  Fire eater at the Renaissance Festival . . .   One of the groups which entertained us today at the Renaissance Festival is named ''Wolgemut'' That's German for "good time party feeling". The four people who make up this group have a lively time with dancing and genuine Renaissance music. I didn't think they were really German. I thought they were faking their accents. After all, everywhere we went, we could hear fake English accents. But when I unwrapped the CD's we'd bought of their music, the text was in German! Only one of the four is from California. ''Good time party feeling'' pretty much describes the time the three of us and Laura's Mother had at the fest. To make our stay easier, I suggested we park ourselves at a stage and watch the various shows until there was a repeat. Ordinarily, we walk ourselves to exhaustion in the thirty acre wide area. Curiously enough, this way we saw many new performers, of which Wolgemut was one such group. The singing nuns were cute, the fire eater amused, but it was this German group which amused us the most. We did the ''polarbear dance'', and clapped along to the music. Laura said she enjoyed watching Julia and I more than them, and surprised us with the CD's so we'd remember the time we had today. A member of Wolgemut playing the 'sackpfeiffe'; at least that's what it's called in German!

February 28, 2001 "Rearview" "OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR"

 

March 1, 2001

"Some Things Do Last Awhile"

We had to get a new alarm clock. The buttons on the 'old' one couldn't be adjusted. I couldn't change the alarm time, and the daily time read out was stuck at twenty minutes fast. However, that was only until the next power outage, when it would be permanently frozen in the blinking 12:00am position. Like I said, we had to get a new alarm clock.

We didn't want to get a new clock. After all, it had been only over a year since we got the last one.

The one prior to that lasted fifteen or twenty years. I clearly remember an entry about it, but can only find this vague reference. Perhaps when I deleted all those old food logs, I deleted a real entry as well. So much for that backward look.

The new model is smaller than the old, but it has bigger buttons, which might last longer. The model name of it is curious, though. It's called ''Triad''. Maybe this one is meant for us. Maybe this one will last awhile.

For one thing, the ''TRIAD'', which consists of Laura, Julia and I, is nearly seven years old. Also, Laura and I marked our 14th anniversary this past February 25th. Some things do last awhile!

 

March 2, 2001

"No Math Expert"

What, you may ask, is the inspiration for the following poems? I was looking at Laura's atheist magazine, laying on the dresser surface, wondering about Truth, Ultimate Cause (if there is one) and Logic. That may or may not help to explain the following:

No Math Expert Eliminate all the unnecessary digits, and it all just comes down to One. How do you count? Do you start from the beginning, or do you go to the end? "The end's not here,'' you say, and rightly so. Start at the beginning. You can find that. As with anything, start at the beginning. Great numbers in small sequence will only lead you to the Beginning. In large sequence, they begin there, too.   What minds do with them, can't be disputed. Solid is as solid does. ''No math expert,'' you say, start at the beginning. Everything must start there. JAL, 3 - 2 - 01

After reading the above, you may know no more than you did before:

I would walk down these halls piled high with books and know no more than I did before.   Did the towers intimidate? Was I just so tall? Still, I have this marvelous view, yards and yards of mystery are enough for me. JAL, 3 - 2 - 01

 

March 4, 2001

"Got To Have Power"

Okay, this sitting down, not knowing whether I will have an entry or not. But my mind craves words. Like fish soup for a hungry stomach, my mind craves words. This they did not tell about in that mediocre movie ''Finding Forrester'', which is about two writers, one young and one old. Sean Connery played well as the old writer, but neither he or the young man had any clue of the passions involved in writing. What drives one to keep seducing the Muse, not a clue. Had they found a better actor for the young man, would Sean had a better man to play against and bring out his own passion? Seriously lacking, that movie was.

Still, the CONCEPTS of the movie were nice. Old writer helps young writer to find his voice, young writer encourages old writer not to give up his dreams. Hell, it could have been about ANY hobby or profession. Maybe it would have worked better as a basketball movie? I dunno.

Still, it was a passing way to spend a couple of hours with Laura and Julia on a weekend. I finally got the ''Never Before, Never Again'' jazz album which I'd ordered a while back. The title is true enough. I was surprised to learn it had been recorded in 1953, FIVE years before I'd been born. Never again, has such a lovely violin virtuousity been pitted against a guitar so effectively. A true treasure, that. Maybe Joe Venuti and Tony Romano could have acted in a movie about passion. Oh well, they didn't need to. We've got the music, digitally remastered very well, and centuries from now, people will be playing their stuff on what ever form of musical transmission exists at the time. It's right up there with the classical greats. The rendition of ''Autumn Leaves'' even made Laura CRY! You know the music's got to have power to do THAT.

So that was our day. Now it's a Sunday afternoon, and I'm contemplating a much needed bath before my shift tonight. But it's been good to sit down with some words.

I think I need more, though. Is it just too short to barely breeze by the day? No, I want to touch it stronger than that. I want to grab the day, seize it, pull from it its depth. Still, seeing Laura moved to tears over music was something I'll treasure. That's the image I want to hold when I think of this day. She and I standing in front of the big black box sitting on top of the honey brown wood dresser, from within this black box such sounds were coming. The surprise of it grabbing her, shocking her. I'd TOLD her it was good. She, who puts on a show of not loving music overmuch, crying. Oh, that my words could have THAT kind of passion, MOVE someone to tears. That's the kind of passion I need, to push me beyond my laziness, to keep seeking and never stop. Always with the ear to the lodestone, always listening for that perfect voice. It's the star to aim for, sure. Follow that, and I can't go far wrong. Through the darkness, it shines a bright enough light. That will do.

March 5, 2001 "A Daily Thing" A Daily Thing And I will take one for the strength, sealed packages of hope, tied up with with a string made of ribboned faith. What lies ahead? What is in the Box? Deep breathe and I shall be strong, deep breathe and I will find the strength. Swallow now this pill, ease it down with liquid faith, just one pill at a time, a daily thing - strength to meet, it will be there. JAL, 3 - 5 -01

March 7, 2001 "It Could Have Been Worse" That's all I have to say about today: it could have been worse. When Laura ran into another car while making a turn, it could have been worse. Worse could have happened than just scraping the left front corner of the car and smashing a tiny side headlight. Worse could have happened to the people in the two cars, Laura's Mother and Laura's son James in ours, and a young mother with a baby in the other. No one got injured. Laura got shook up emotionally, for sure. But not as bad as I did a few years back when I only tapped the car in front of me, as she stopped sooner than I'd expected. I'd gotten so shook up I wept, and someone else had to come retrieve me, since I was too much upset to drive the ten or so miles home. No, Laura bore up pretty good compared to I. All in all, it could have been worse. Our insurance, of course, will take care of everything. That problem presented by early afternoon, Julia had another present itself yesterday evening when she went up on her computer. It seemed she'd taken in a virus, titled suspiciously ''loveletter.vbs''. She tried to delete the thing, but her finger slipped, and she opened it instead. Baring a signature from somewhere in the Phillipines, this ''loveletter'' promptly took all the jpgs on Julia's computer and turned them into 'VBS' script files. Julia had to delete 3000 previously good images. Strangely enough, it did not effect the gif images, only those images in the jpg format. She thinks she's got her computer back to normal, minus, of course, all the jpgs, which she'll have to re-acquire from the web. Meanwhile, that computer is on 'quarantine', for we don't know the full extent of its damage. Still, Julia's grateful the virus hasn't destroyed her entire hard drive, which some have been known to. I may complain of having only a ''Hotmail'' email address, as I must always be online to read and answer email, however my computer is safe from such viruses, as all my email is stored on someone else's computer. The rest of the day's irritations have been minor, indeed. I went to work with an upset stomach and lower intestines. Fortunately, it was a slow night shift, and my quick runs to the bathroom were easily accommodated. Oh, there was a nervous spot during the morning when things got busy. I practiced deep breathing and no 'accidents' happened. So, even my illness could have been worse. The day is 'ending' for me with a huge downpour of rain. It's coming down in buckets. It's made huge deep puddles everywhere. The sound of it is making loud noises on our tin roof. But it could be worse. I'm in now, and will soon be curled up sleeping cozily in a warm bed. That sounds like a happy ending to me.

March 9, 2001 "After The Rain" Moody misty view I was supposed to have yesterday off. Laura and I planned to have an early start, going to the arboretum just after dropping Julia off at her workplace. The phone rang. I knew the sound of that ringing phone. I had the sinking feeling who might be on the other end. Sure enough, it was the manager, ''Can you help us out?'' I agreed, as I didn't have to go in until three o'clock. We could still go to the arboretum and be back in time. The rains of the day before had left their touch all over the nature vistas. Fog kissed the mountains low, creating misty moody sights. It was a bit chilly, and Laura did not bring a coat. Normally, she is always hot, and worried that the red long sleeved blouse she'd worn would be too warm. She needn't have worried, and even went back to the warmth of the car, while I traipsed about, camera in hand. I enjoyed the slow amble, as I placed the viewfinder to everything I saw, checking for how it fit into the rectanglular cropping. Nevermind, I would likely do later cropping. Smith Interpretive Center I spent lots of time in the greenhouses located in the Smith Interpretive Center. As the greenhouses were created to house cold sensitive plants, it was slightly warmer there. The trio of cacti I always visit has grown huge. And I took pictures of flowers, flowers growing in the earth, flowers in pots meant for sale to customers, flowers in bushes; I bet nearly half my disk space is devoted to flower pictures. A great many of those flowers still wore rain drops from the previous day's deluge. Rain-kissed pansy When I returned to the car, Laura was there, reclining with the seat back. But as it had warmed up some, she'd gone out to wander on her own. She told of multicolored flowers in the Demonstration Garden. I'd not seen those on my travels. Sunday, barring weather and work interruptions, we hope to go again to the arboretum and take pictures of those gardens as well.

 

March 11, 2001

"A Day Off From Work"

Sunday morning I opened the front door to a very strong chilly wind. With that, the outdoors didn't exactly beckon. And we were all kind of tired, besides. We needed a more restful distraction than hiking. All the movies we haven't seen yet sounded terrible, so that was out. However, we hadn't been to Arizona Mills mall in quite a while, so that destination seemed fairly appealing. While we were busy readying ourselves, Laura's Mother showed up at the door. She'd been to her future new house, where her son Greg, and two grandchildren were busy putting a new floor in it. However, she and Greg had had angry words, and she was upset. Greg threatened to walk, leaving only James and Larry to finish it. We did our best to encourage Eleanor to let Greg have his space while working.

We invited her to join us, and she happily accepted. Not too long after, our red car pulled into the large parking lot, near ''neighborhood four''. As we entered, we are not only reminded by signs of this, but also by spoken word, as a ladies voice informs us in English, and a man's voice in Spanish. We slowly ambled the wide aisles, making sure Eleanor was keeping up, as she can't see too well.

Virgin megastore, with its books and CDs, called to us, and we went there first. I grabbed up Capercaillie's new album ''Nadurra'', and then went to the listening booths to discover new music. A trance opera album was rather monotonous, and besides, Ugo Farel does it better. A soprano jazz singer was okay, but nothing special. Still, it was fun to test them. Laura found me soon after, and informed me they'd be sitting in the bench out front. Already clutching the desired item, I was ready to go, after paying for it, of course.

We also checked out jewelry shops. Laura had lost one of her good gold earrings, and had been longing for a new set. One shop had more than doubly inflated prices, and we passed on by rather quickly. Another shop had a nice set, but by this time, Julia was also wanting a pair. We wanted matching pairs. The thin blonde with a German accent who was assisting us couldn't locate another pair. So we moved on. The third shop also had a saleswoman with a foreign accent, this time Japanese. This shop specialized in diamonds, and the saleswoman had no doubt plunked a major part of her earnings back into the store, as her ears featured some very large and sparkly diamond earrings. This lady was able to find us not only two identical pairs, but THREE. They were even on sale. We bought all three sets.

The round engraved hoops look good on each of us. As my head and ears are smaller, they seem larger on me than they do on Laura and Julia, but they flatter all of us.

Laura's Mother also got something she'd been long wanting. She wanted a pretty goblet to pamper herself. The 'Mikasa' shop had lots to choose from, but a heavy goblet with a sturdy neck attracted her, so she went home with something special, as well.

We finished our visit with a visit to a coffee shop. Normally coffee products don't entice me, but I was curious to try a vanilla caramel mocha icee, piled high with whipped cream. I could feel the caffeine buzz it produced, much stronger than that of TEA, but coffee has never tasted better. Besides, by evening, the buzz would have well wore off, and it wouldn't disturb my sleep.

In the afternoon and early evening, Laura and I were on Everquest, with our two druids, playing with yet another druid named ''Footloose'', the emphasis on FEET, as her halfling character boasts some extremely large feet! We made a good team, and will play again tomorrow morning.

The evening now here, I suspect the caffeine I've quaffed should not impact my sleep much. Oh, it's been good to have a day off from work.