"Follies, Past and Present; Writing With a Large Hand"
January 29, 1999
Someone from the Writer's Choice Literary Journal left me their URL. There's some good thought provoking stuff there. Have a look. Besides making a dent in the piles of sewing yesterday, I helped Laura proofread and fixed the last set in her God Cartoons. Not only I, Julia also caught a few errors.
Ah well, I SHALL adjust. I've added dates to the indexs for Book One and Book Two of ATTWT. The titles cued me in to what was going on in that particular phase of my life. But I couldn't quite place WHEN, particularily in the earlier chapters. If this was confusing to ME, the writer, I know it sure as heck was confusing to the readers. Also, the titles really sum up a phase quite well. I've noticed "Weighty Matters" goes through its little phases as well. I may figure out how to group them thusly for the archives. But that's for another day.
While doing this, I took note of what I'd written one year ago from today. I spoke of the 'inner landscape':
". . . The over-used land becomes infertile. We are like that too. We can become sucked dry. We need rest, air, sunlight, water, nutrients and love. We earthy, soily, fragile beings; from us can spring such growing wonders. The variety of our inner landscapes is good. "I wonder if that's the cause of my infertile creativity. How might I re-nourish myself? I'll ponder this.
later today . . .
We didn't go to the park. Laura, hoping to find a source of cheap entertainment, took us to the big library in Phoenix. It's huge. I searched to see if they had "Journal of a Disappointed Man" by Barbellion, but no dice. It's probably a strictly British production. But there was plenty else to amuse. They have an extensive CD collection, so I picked five, two classical, two celtic and one pop, to sample. A book about life in ancient Rome amused me, so I sat down with it while I waited for Laura and Julia to be done. I added it to the collection as we'll all enjoy what we learn from that. In the brief time waiting, I learned that some of the beauty rituals of the wealthy Roman ladies were less than healthy, for some of the skin preparations contained mercury, and some of the hair ointments made their hair fall out. I'm sure we of this age are doing our share of equally stupid things.
For instance, in the ages to come, they will talk about how people in this century used to plug up their armpits with aluminum containing anti-perspirants. They will talk of our lymph nodes in that area, and how we were defeating one of the body's main ways of ridding itself of poisons. No doubt many health problems have been brought about or exacerbated by this.
Hopefully in the future, technology will also find ways to solve health damaging things such as air pollution. The air in Phoenix was 'chunk style' today. It irritated our throats and eyes. Its hidden evils made Laura's heart hurt. As soon as we were in good air again, her heart felt fine.
3:30pm - mug of raspberry ginger ale. It's a new drink from Schweppes. One brand name used to only have it in 'diet' version. We have found we're all allergic to the artificial sweetner. In the distant future, one of our follies that will be noted is use of artificial sweetner.
Detailed scientific and general documentation regarding the toxicity of nutrasweet, (aspartame) is on the web.(see http://www.holisticmed.com/aspartame/damage.txt)
"It appears to cause slow, silent damage in those unfortunate enough to not have immediate reactions and a reason to avoid it. It may take one year, five years, 10 years, or 40 years, but it seems to cause some reversible and some irreversible changes in health over long-term use."The article lists brain tumors, uterine polyps, changes in blood cholesterol and several other dangers:
"Removing aspartame from the diet may clear up some of the symptoms but the damage from the breakdown products such as methanol may be permanent.It is amazing this poison ever got approved by the FDA. But money greases palms, I suspect. The article even shows how the Public Relations HIRES people to join internet groups and initiate flame wars with anyone who expresses a negative statement about aspartame or other dangerous artificial sweeteners such as acesulfame-k.Seizures and convulsions, arthritic and joint pain, chronic fatigue, depression, memory loss, vision damage and loss, tingling in the extremities, slurring of speech, irritability, severe anxiety attacks, menstrual problems, blood sugar control problems, symptoms similar to multiple sclerosis, worsening of fibromyalgia, parkinson's tremors, etc., etc. . . "
". . .In addition, the methanol from aspartame is converted to the extremely toxic formaldehyde and formic acid in the body."
The Taste That Kills,(http://www.healthpress.com/excitotoxins.html) is a book about these artificial sweetners and other horrors such as monosodium glutamate. We, the triad, know what this stuff does to us. Laura has gotten very sick with this stuff. Several times she's tried to use it, thinking it would help her lose weight. But mood changes result. The intensity of the wild swings increases the longer she uses the product. This time she hoped to use it in a cocoa she puts in her coffee. But, having seen the results occur time and time again, she knew what was happening. I am extremely sensitive, and felt doped up the couple of times I ingested it by accident. But even Julia (who is not usually vulnerable) is acknowledging its effects are bad.
We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.I found this thought today at one of my favorite rest stops on the web. Oh, to get back in that frame of mind again! Perhaps when I'm over this bug, I can again explore "DEEP THOUGHTS" again. I'm yearning to plumb the depths of myself and find some treasure buried within. Right now all my fishing expedition would turn up is the mental/spiritual equivalent of the 'old boot' and 'tin cans' variety. Blah!H. G. Wells
Despite feeling draggy, I did get some things accomplished. I updated the Bright Lights of the Web page today. That was a task long overdue. Then I paid some bills, and finished two sewing orders that weren't greatly complex. I was going to tackle that dress that I keep putting off, but still too woozy for it. I heard those CD's I'd borrowed from the library. The CD of pop music (Bruce Hornsby and the Range) was too damaged to play anything but one song. But the classical ones and celtic ones were good. I'm not sure I'd buy them if I saw them in a store. Well, maybe the 13th and 14th C "English Polyphony" with Russell Oberlin. That's it.
On a more serious note, Valentine's Day is being used to commemorate another V-day "On Valentine's Day 1999 there will be events produced worldwide by organizations already working to end violence against women and offering support and shelter to those who have been violated." This is a worthy goal. However, is violence against MEN any less a tragedy? Violence against anyone needs to be ended. Let's hope humanity evolves beyond our savage roots.
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(This stream of consciousness dump was influenced by much bad news.) We'd watched And the Band Played On a few days ago about how early explorations into the cause of AIDS were sabotaged. Even today although fewer are dying from this illness, the rate of people acquiring its predecesser, HIVS is just as high as ever. Discrimination still occurs against gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders. College students still live in fear, much as I did twenty years ago. Sometimes it gets a bit depressing. Avoiding all questions like spiky arrows thrown my way, I run from the fields where I don't know what is going to happen next and I pause in the parking lot of life. Why here? Why now? Why is this place where the ground rumbles and heats up? Why don't I know what is going to happen next? Heart pounding, ripping breath out of my lungs, smoke is stinging my eyes . . . on whose coals did they light the flame? Somebody, somewhere is dying. And I can't do anything about it, just like I couldn't do anything about the others. The vast reams of others. Who were they all, masks of faces now? Just ashes now. Nothing but ashes and hard, achy memories in some peoples lives, the ones that hold the hard stone in their heart, the weighty thing that pulls ever downward. No end to that. But I stand here shivering in this parking lot. Fire and ice, fire and ice. This and this and hard cold air to choke on, hard, cold smoky air. This pollution, this world, this now. I reach in my pocket, and there are pellets of ice. I hold them in the palm of my hand although it hurts. Then I numbly throw them on the smouldering earth. There must be a better place somewhere.
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Some days are just like that, ya' know. . . Sure glad not all are . . .
That was this morning's "Food for Thought". I can fall into the trap of feeling sorry for myself. When the ice tray wouldn't yield to my stiff fingers, I felt sulky this morning, and drank my 7-up warm. As the day wears on, I get more flexible. I want to think about positive things. I'm not a part of the "On Display" webring...just give me enough time, I'll probably get around to it....But their February collab question appealed to me:"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."
Thomas Jefferson
What are the things in your life that you love the most?So I'll try a stream o' consciousness ramble on that. I love the feeling of my nice warm full belly. Purr, purr. I love cuddling next to Laura and Julia. My flesh against the warm soft flesh of those I love (actually there's a concept greater than 'love' for which we've coined a word).
I love good music...singing along to it. I love the marvel of the human voice singing in perfect harmony with others...yea, Chanticleer, yea Kings Singers, yea Robert Oberlin. Give me that Karen Matheson crooning away sensuously. Barbra Streisland ain't bad either. Love that beat, it gets me moving.
I love it when I've tackled a hard job I was 'scared' of and it turns out really good. I really love that. I love it when I write a good poem or draw a good picture. I love grabbing sights with that camera. I love sharing all that with anyone who wants to look. I love being alive. I love beautiful sunsets and sunrises, fragrant flowers, 'purple mountain majesties', clear streams, rock art, talking, nice warm full bellies that again!,
I love that we humans keep plugging along and don't give up. Maybe we can't solve all the problems in the world, but we can do pretty good with our own little corner of the world. I love lounging around and sleeping in. I love soaking in a warm tub. I like that belly full! I like the way it feels when my thirst is quenched.
I love the amazing things we humans do. We're such amazing creatures, and we don't give ourselves enough credit for it. Laura and I were talking about that last night. If we were to transport an ancient Greek to the present, just any one of us would astound us with our powers greater than his pantheon of gods. Heck, he'd just be spellbound by the little switches on the stove that turn on the fire to cook our food. Invisable 'fire' such as a microwave, the cold box of the refrigerator, these boxes here called computers....Why that ancient Greek would bow down right now and worship us....we are the 'gods', yes, each and every one of us.
I love it when people face their fears and grab courage from some hidden place in themselves to do the thing that scares them so. I love it when the ice skaters leap high and twirl about with grace and ease. I love a good laugh. Some of the British humor via BBS America or Comedy Central is delightful. "Margaret and Bob" when the new dentist comes to town is a hilarious episode. "Blackadder and the Scarlet Pimpernel", that ne'er do well on "Some Mothers do 'ave 'em", the utterly unaware pompous ruler of the "Britas Empire". Laughter is good. Heroes are good. I love the movies with heroes. The teacher in "Dead Poet's Society", the "Postman", "Patch Adams", there's so many. I love the minds that come up with these things.
I love humanity. We're not all bad. I love that I'm alive to experience all these things. I love that I can dream and wonder and ponder. I love how the mind can possess something that no one can take away. I love dripping my thoughts all over cyberspace here, there and everywhere. I love reading the thoughts of others who do the same. It's good to be alive. It's good to sing and dance and have ecstacy. It's good to appreciate ourselves. It's good to be alive. I love writing with a large hand, broad, not cautiously on the screen of life. Ah-h-h-h-h! Si-i-i-i-igh, Hi-i-i-i-gh Si-i-i-i-igh! Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
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