January 2, 2005 A

"Cleaning Out the Old"
6:13am


tiny leaves from the olive tree

Yesterday was such a surprisingly wonderful and satisfying day. I started out with a desire to clean up things around here. I gathered a big bag's worth of old magazines and print-outs that were no longer useful. Then I looked at the carpet. Tiny brown olive leaves were scattered everywhere. In addition to the usual flotsam and jetsam, it looked dreadful. But to make any cleaning efforts worthwhile, I would need to sweep the dead leaves off the porch into the small dirt area at its end.

Some day, that dirt may be quite fertile, with all the leaves that have been swept into it through out the years.

Then I took the vacuum cleaner nozzle to the carpet and got most of it clean. I even lifted the persian rug in the living room and vacuumed underneath it. It seemed strangely emotionally healing, as well. It was as if I were cleaning out old emotional debris from the past, as well.

An afternoon spent in that, I was ready for a good bath. It felt so good to slough off the old dead skin and emerge scrubbed clean. After tending to my fingernails and toe nails, I rested a bit. Then I looked at the dusty altar and removed everything to a towel, cleaning each item gently before placing it back on the dust-free surface. This, too, seemed therapeutic. Cleansing the past, I felt more ready to greet the future.

Later, we watched the movie Garden State on DVD. The story of a young man returning home after his mother died was surprisingly refreshing. Both of us liked it very much. Then we caught just the last segment of the Vienna new year's concert. With the aid of their tuxedoed partners, whirling, twirling ladies in blue ball gowns gracefully floated through the rooms of an old castle to the music of the Blue Danube waltz.

Then a lovely half hour spent listening to Loreena McKennitt tell about her travels as she created her music. One of her albums, Book of Secrets has never left the CD tray since we've had the five disc stereo. I will seek out her other albums.

After returning the videos, we finished the evening listening to that album. I felt so wonderfully relaxed and happy.


January 2, 2005 B

"Gray Wolf"
7:16pm


Enjoying his feeding...

I was inspired by a lovely book of wildlife images I found at the B&N. Not only that, I reorganized my art pages for better flow. I'm feeling quite jazzed!


January 6, 2005

"Stop By Here"
10:51pm


"Stop By Here" and visit a very odd clown at a fair somewhere.

This is the most interesting result of a spontaneous session with pen and paper last night.


January 7, 2005

"New Technology"
10:18pm

Having heard there are businesses who will publish books based on the author's own PDF file, I was inspired to invest in a PDF creator. Despite its high cost, I learned it is "not an authoring application", as it says in the 'Getting Started' booklet. One creates PDFs from other files. So far, doc files via Microsoft Word seem to work best. I've made two PDF files tonight, one a simple one with no illustrations, and one with an illustration. I had to play with the picture size and font size to get the poem and pic to appear all on one page. The html file is a combination of 9K, (3K for the html code, 6K for the pic), the doc file is the largest, at 25K, and the pdf is 20K for 'standard quality'.

So this is a beginning.


January 10, 2005

"A Beginning"
4:32am

The beginning has begun. I keep assembling pieces and poems for a future book. I find myself pursuing this until I drop weary. I am learning so much about Microsoft Word, mostly by pulling down menus and hunting and pecking and clicking and dropping. I am learning the best ways to make images 'easy print'. I start with the original image, and experiment to see which is clearer, converting to line art or making it a black and white scattered dot image. Then I work to clarify the image, using only black and white lines, solid or scattered paint brushes. Sometimes I have to scrap the original illustration and go with something entirely different.

I've placed some of the printable PDFs up here on the web:

Wildness In the Blood
Magical Alchemy
Dust of Faraway Lands
A Voice Heard Loudly At Night

It is a start, and one which may result in me as a published author. Perhaps I am blooming into maturity?

Below is a bloom of another sort, rather beautiful and which will grace its wearer well:


The 'Florenza' pin Julia bought at Saturday's antique show


January 11, 2005

"Auspicious Enough"
5:29am

When I looked at the calender, the day chart accompanied by a beautiful magenta butterfly, I noticed yesterday was the New Moon, a time astrologers advise as being good for new beginnings. I try not to take astrology too seriously, yet am often amused at the correspondances. Yesterday, as I was taking Julia to work, I was amazed at the brilliant deep orange red sunrise which greeted me. That seemed auspicious enough, but it became even more so. As I headed east, a brilliant rainbow appeared, arching high, and with a faint echo parallel to it. I've never seen such a rainbow, so intense in its hues, against such an intensely orange-red sky. It seemed to be a message from First Mystery herself, a blessing on my new endeavor.


spanning the heavens


spanning the heavens

Of course, that image above is a rainbow from a couple of years ago.

January 15, 2005

"Aiming High"
7:50am

I am determined to carry this book project through and not let it go by the wayside as the tarot project seems to have done. (I'll hopefully resume THAT at a later point.) So far, around 25 pieces have been made into Word documents, which, along with others yet to be chosen, will be later decided what order they will go into before creating the big PDF file.

So that's progressing.

How serendipitiously weird this snippet from a description of a weekly local event:

> This is our task and our purpose
> in our Talks On Sacred Culture---to discuss the texts and traditions
> from around the world and what they say about the task of self culture
> and how to actually apply those teachings to our lives. This has the
> added (and essential) advantage of being simple and therefore open to
> all, at least all who are not afraid to look in the mirror and face what
> they are and what they have made of themselves. As the statue of Apollo
> says to Rilke at the end of his sonnet on the same, "You must change
> your life!"
> To put it differently, our "Talks" are an ongoing practicum in the
> contemplative life, the contemplative life being understood as rooted in
> a very serious self scrutiny, and not to be confused with merely
> intellectual work where the rubber doesn't need, necessarily, to hit the
> road at all.

'Serendipitiously weird', for this is the theme of my own study right now, advancing from the merely intellectual into the realm of the personal and how I am emotionally and psychically changed. When a theme repeats itself in unexpected places, it does seem to be The Mystery at work.

The theme of the new dietary guidelines loosely showed up in yesterday's horoscope, "Eat more fresh fruits, veggies and simple healthy food." The 'Five a Day' of 1/2 cup portions has been increased to 'Nine a Day'. Although I do try to eat fruits and veggies, this standard is now one I will rarely reach. But in aiming for the new standard, the old will be easily met. And that's probably the point of the whole ideal of perfection anyway.

Regarding getting more exercise, hopefully Julia and I can get out walking in one of the parks this weekend. This weekend, however, is rather shortened by the fact I have to work today. Sunday looks good for an afternoon or better an early evening in the park.

9:05pm

Thirty pieces have been made into Word documents!


Aiming High - Star Tossing!


January 16, 2005

"The Phantom Of The Opera"
10:58pm

I keep seeing his tortured face, the torture of the disfigured skin not equal to the man's inner torment. I want to ease his torment. Such lonliness! I can readily identify with the Phantom because I've felt lonely and misunderstood. But gratefully, this has not been my end.

Gerald Butler should get an Oscar for his performance. Oh the pretty boy and the lovely lass did well, also, but their roles did not demand the depth that Butler's did. I remember him as Dracula. He did the best he could with a really crappy script. I could imagine him as a vampire, singing "The Music of the Night". Oh, yes, his singing of that song is swoon-worthy, indeed.


As a sexy looking vampire...

And then he goes nuts.

C'est la vie. Sometimes . . .

. . . I've forty poems assembled so far, with eight more that look like definite possibilities . . .

Forward...
Go Back to Archives...
Go Back to Beginning Page...
Go to Index of Joan's pages...


© Joan Lansberry