"Celebrating The 'Need For Feed'"
(from Weighty Matters, my online journal)
Not to dwell on such prejudices, however, we're talking about the gist of 'hunger', period. Nevermind what it is you crave, only you can determine the merit of the OBJECT of your craving, I'm just talking about the Craving.
I'm talking good old ordinary things for which we hunger. I awake this morning, a sense of hunger within me. I ate lightly last night, to cut back in the most weight-producing hours when the calories are least likely to be manufactured into energy, thus this morning my appetite is keen. My breakfast will taste good. Julia always makes tasty breakfasts, but today there shall be the added 'spice' of hunger. It does make food taste better.
I'm talking plain old ordinary DESIRE, yes the thing Buddhists want to annilate. ''Desire is the source of all suffering,'' they claim. Once again, this is like killing the patient to end their suffering. No, desire is the thing that lets you know you're alive! Without hunger, the early cave men would have never left their caves. They would have just sat there blob like for the rest of their consciousness.
Some will laugh and say, ''But isn't that just what meditation is?'' My Laura would say that, and maybe for some people, that's what they attempt during their meditation. However, for others, it is to INCREASE their awareness.
But maybe, if one is trying to kill their desire, then they must of necessity kill their awareness and numb themselves. How else can they rid themselves of their 'pesky' ego? Ego is fair demanding, if we haven't zoned ourselves into a zombie state. Maybe that's how they do it.
But some of us wish to be alive, to feel the full pain of each hunger as it quickens us into consciousness. Some of us know this hunger is the prime motivator. If we have no desire, nothing gets done. Oh, one can act like the robot automaton as they go about life's necessary tasks. But I'm talking about the kind of action which CHANGES the daily stasis and creates something which was not there before.
''Sleepers, awaken!'' Is this not the cry of those seeking to enliven spiritual awareness? Wake up and KNOW your hunger! And there are so many wonderful things for which to hunger. Yes, in contrast, sometimes the human animal is driven to want things that aren't good for us. The higher intellect must determine if this is so and act accordingly.
But in these cases, again DESIRE is the motivator. The higher intellect may warn us of a harmful behavior. Why is it harmful? Because it will injure us and possibly shorten our lifespan, or injure those people around us we love, or injure planet earth, which in the long run, injures us all. If we are awakened into full love of life, we will not want this.
And so, once again, Desire from the fount of Ego * will kick us out of complacency and into action.
What do YOU desire? I think smilingly of good breakfasts, music that feeds the soul, movies/plays that likewise feed the soul, and communication with kindred spirits, for these give me something to think about. For 'mind-food', I have willingly gone without other things, like new eyeglasses. If one is not wealthy, one must determine priorities.
If I had desired wealth, and put all my energies to it, what sort of life would I have had now? How many other valuable experiences would I have simply not had time for, while engaged in the pursuit of wealth? No, I prefer riches of the mind, and have lived my life accordingly.
It is all up to the individual and what they desire. What do YOU desire? Hunger well and often! Know it, this delicious enlivening awakening force, and let it motivate you into ACTION! Hunger well and often!
*
(Return to Vampiric Visions)
Note of May 11, 2006
I've grown in understanding since I wrote this. Although I agree with most everything here, I do have a better understanding of the definitions of the various aspects of the self. Instead of using the word 'ego', I would be more accurate to use the word that Gurdjieff used for the True Self, the Essence.