"Male to Female Transsexual" and "Female to Male Transsexual", are terms used extensively not only in the gender variant community, but by medical professionals who make a great deal of money humoring an illusion. The terminology is not only a disservice to transsexuals, discouraging an uncomplicated understanding of self, but a disservice for other gender variants who might otherwise seek transition. The implication is that Sexual Reconstructive Surgery (SRS) is possible, when it is clearly not possible. Sex (any attempt to clarify by saying `biological' sex would muddy the waters more, implying that there is other than biological sex) is multi-faceted and ranges from male dominant with recessive female physical characteristics to female dominant with recessive male physical characteristics and an almost infinite mix of internal (intellectual and emotional) characteristics thought, in our society, to be reflective of whether we are born with a penis or a vagina. Recognition that each individual is an anomalous singularity with a mix of male and female genetics appears to be a difficult concept.
Conversion from one sex to another is a fiction, a fiction that a `male to woman' transsexual is encouraged to believe in, in order to be considered credible. It is only one of the fiery hoops a person must be willing to leap through for the medical trainers. Another hoop is the fiction of `passing' as a woman and living full time for some given period of time before `approval' is given. If you are able to blend invisibly into society, taking your place as a woman, you are considered `a good risk.' We are encouraged, as grown adults, to act like little children with a secret that must be hidden. This despicable deception demolishes any sense of self-pride we might have left in this gender dysphoric culture that tends to denigrate what it doesn't understand.
When we deceive others we discredit our own sense of integrity, abuse the person we deceive, and dishonor reality. When medically trained professionals set us up for such fabrications, what they are saying is, "We don't want to deal with this subject in the first place, but since you force us to do something then prove you won't rock our conception of the sexes. Additionally, after S.R.S., with no apparatus left to do so, we want to hear that you are fully orgasmic. That you might be happy without the ability to orgasm is a thought we don't want to know. Finally, we want you to disappear into the mainstream of society. We will convert your legal documents to `female'; your birth certificate, your educational credentials, your work history, and your drivers license. We will cater to your facade if you swear an oath never to challenge our view of mankind." Never mind that you were never purely male in the first place. Never mind that you will never be purely female.
Why are we encouraged to live our lives as a lie? Are we that despicable? Still an abomination, as we are considered to be in most of Chrisitianity, only slightly mitigated when we agree to transition? Why would medical professionals recommend deception? Is it for our benefit, to protect us, or to protect themselves from our reality?
There are honorable choices. Take a long hard look at yourself. How does your physical body appear on a spectrum between male and female? Mostly male, mostly female, or characteristics of both? All of us are a blend. Sylvester Stallone has nipples. Now look inside of yourself, at the working of your mind. Mostly male, mostly female, or characteristics of both? Absolutely! If the blending of these characteristics within you suggests greater comfort as a woman than you should strive to become a woman, not a pseudo-woman, but a real woman.
No one is born a man or a woman. We become men and women, developing ourselves as we grow to adulthood. There are many choices. We can become men who desire other men, or women who desire other women. Some homosexuals cross-dress; the majority do not. Usually gay males have no internal difficulty identifying as a man. It doesn't offend their sense of self so another category of (O)ther, although it might be more accurate, isn't necessary. This, it goes without saying, is true of lesbians as well.
Conflict between the individual and societal labeling stems from pigeon-holing people as male and female at the very beginning of life. The terminology is inadequate to describe countless numbers of people. Why do we feel the need to label people according to their ability to become pregnant or to impregnate? We have our names and/or our pictures on our identification. Shouldn't that be sufficient? Why is it made a central issue on almost every legal document? If it is so important, than why are we only given two choices? Why do we focus on sex and not on gender? Males living as woman are not female, but we are not given any other choice. Any answer we make is inaccurate. In protest we could refuse to check the boxes. Then one will be checked for us. If we check both boxes, then one will be erased. Who in this picture is demonstrating neurotic behavior? I submit, not the transsexual!
We, as a society, are so obsessive over this issue that when a hermaphrodite is born we assign sex anyway, knowing that this person is something (O)ther. We even surgically alter hermaphrodites, making a choice for them shortly after birth, and think we are doing them a favor. It is true that some hermaphrodites have been satisfied with the choice, but many have been miserable. Are we mad? To force such a change on a living human being before (s)he can tell us what (s)he wants is a perversion of the most elementary principles of decency. Arguments that we are doing it for (he)r good make it no less ignoble.
Does making a choice for a newborn hermaphrodite make sense? It doesn't make sense to me, nor does it make sense to label any newborn infant male or female. We are in such a rush to categorize people that we lose all perspective. It doesn't appear to matter if some males grow up to be women and some females to be men. These people, after all, aren't normal. They don't fit neatly into our classification system and our classification system can't possibly be in error.
We are all a mixture of male and female physical traits. We are labeled males if we can impregnate and females if we can be impregnated. Simple! Right? Not quite that simple. We have neglected the hermaphrodite, some who have been able to impregnate and to be impregnated. It is from the hermaphrodite we learn of the reality of the (O)ther. Those of us who are a blending of male and female, depending on the strength of our blended genetics, have a desire to express ourselves as something other than our apparent sex. We are also the (O)ther, kissing cousin to the hermaphrodite.
Gay males, lesbians, bisexuals, transvestites, transgendered, transsexual, and fetishists, are a different expression of the exact same phenomenon, the blending of sex and gender characteristics in the human species. In actuality, the heterosexual male who grows up to become a man has some female physical qualities. Show me a male who doesn't have nipples and/or a male who didn't begin life undetectable in form from a female fetus and I might withdraw this statement. Each of us then is a composite of the masculine and feminine and we all struggle to grow up as men or women and to take our place with other adults. The difficulty comes in dealing with our emotional needs, needs generated by our mixed nature, and fitting into one of the only two roles provided. Those of us who recognize and face these quandaries have come to understand that none of us are entirely male but neither are we entirely female.
We discover we have feelings, urges, and inclinations demanding expression and find that we can not express them as the gender normally associated with our apparent birth sex. Therefore, we express ourselves in variations of the only other choice we are offered. The cornucopia of expression is awesome to behold and is suggestive evidence for the assertions I am presenting. Gay males can also have cross-dressing characteristics and not only as drag queens. I have met gay males who were fetishists, transvestites, transgendered, and even those seeking transsexual transformation. Just as there are fetishists, transvestites, transgendered, and transsexuals who are drawn to men, women, and to both men and women.
We need to take a long hard honest look at ourselves and ask ourselves why is there such confusion over sexuality and gender? Sex is, of course, a biological term we have explored thoroughly. Gender, man and woman, are what we become and, yes, they are to a great extent imposed by our biological nature. A not-quite-male inclined to live as a woman is no less a woman than a female inclined to live as a woman. However, that not-quite-male is not quite a female either. Physical and chemical modifications only modify secondary characteristics including softening emotional perspective and sway the balance a little more toward the female. (S)he, however, does not become a female because of the modifications. Claims to the contrary are misleading, deceptive, and ultimately do a disservice to the person making them. Not only does such dishonesty eat away at your own self-esteem, but it undermines your relationships with others.
What then, if dishonesty is not used, is a better way to present ourselves to other people? Personally, I rely on honesty and trust that people, certainly the people I would want to be friends with, will understand. Meeting someone for the first time, if I expect this person might become a friend, I mention I am a transsexual woman. Much with the same emphasis I might declare I like computers. Then having been honest up front I get on with the budding friendship. I don't say anything more about my transsexual nature unless asked and if asked I answer briefly and get off the subject. People who might be looking for friendship usually are delighted to find an honest courageous person but they will want to do those things with you that friends do together, not dwell on what you are or what they are either, for that matter.
Born as a male, should you be considered a woman by other people? Yes, including the use of personal pronouns that fit your gender and appearance. It would be rude and insulting to do otherwise and mendacious. As a male woman you are a real woman, not a pseudo-woman. You deserve to be treated as such and to be proud of yourself as a male woman, not just because you are a woman. You have capacities and abilities that are predominant in both males and females and your need to present as a woman, whether fully or partially, is a genuine extension of those characteristics. We have something unique to offer the world, but the world will never know if we don't stop indulging in petty deceptions concerning our birth sex.
Can openness jeopardize our jobs, our current relationships, our status with other people? Sure! Do you want to be a liar consumed with fear that one day you will be found out? Do you want your friends to know you for a coward and a liar? Let's not mince words, deception to prevent loss is still deception. It is unethical and lacks decency. There is nothing noble or decent, or justifiable in living a lie. If you, in your own heart, feel you must be deceitful at least be honest enough to acknowledge you are deceitful and don't ask your confidantes to understand and forgive you. You dishonor your friends when you involve them in your falsification. You disrespect those you deceive and, most of all, you dishonor yourself.
We, (O)thers, gallae, whatever we call ourselves, are challenged by grievous attitudes aimed directly at us. If we rise to that challenge, stand up and demonstrate integrity, strength, compassion, and fortitude we become part of the smallest minority on the planet ... mature adults. This minority is so small that no one asks questions about your sex, gender, or identity. They simply embrace you with open arms and welcome you to their fellowship. Hope to see all of you there.
