The purpose of this article is to provide some much needed sanity
in areas where it is in short supply. It's supportive of the
concept that people should have the right to do anything they
want to do so long as they are not doing harm to another person
or another person's property. It is not designed to take away
options, but to increase them. However, within that context, some
of what is said here might be disturbing to some gender variants,
particularly those labeling themselves transsexual and who
are often among the most vulnerable. Reality can be very
harsh to someone in the throes of a misconception. So, I don't
apologize for anything that follows, but, under advisement, I
provide this disclaimer for those of delicate disposition.
Male and female are biological terms ... they are words that
transcend species and have specific and clearly defined meanings.
When transsexuals co-opt these words they are misrepresenting
themselves in an attempt to fit in a world that isn't prepared
for those of us outside the bipolar model.
"Why do you buy the lie?" I ask.
The reply comes, "In a bipolar society it's easier to get
along if we accept the definitions offered. We may even be denied
hormones and surgery if we don't keep the water muddy. So, since
the option of (O)ther isn't open to us, we declare as female. We
change our sex on our drivers license, on our birth certificate,
and on other important documents. If we don't, the world as
we know it will come to end."
I answer, "Maybe the world as we know it should come to an
end."
"But I don't feel like a male. I feel like a female," comes the
cry. Sure, I might feel like a goddess, but that doesn't make
me one. Words, contrary to the opinion of some academics, are not
mere labels to be changed around by individual convenience or by
those with a vested interest in creating new definitions. By
attempting to alter the words male and female we do a disservice
not only to the meaning of the words, but we steal the sexual
identity words meant to label the difference between the sexes.
It is theft, pure theft. I suspect most people know it for what
it is, a deception, a deception that undermines the credibility
of anything else a transsexual might say. Deceived by someone on one issue,
we find it difficult to believe (he)r on other issues, particularly when the deception
concerns something as significant as sexual identity.
There are so many lies perpetrated on transsexuals and about
transsexuals that it can be extremely difficult to defuse them.
How do we discuss these issues without making some people
uncomfortable? Some males who live and present as women want what
is called sexual reconstructive surgery, for many of them they
believe that this surgery, along with hormones, will make them
female. In reality they become pseudo-females, imperfect
imitations of a female. They can convince themselves they are
female only with fuzzy thinking ..."taking female hormones makes them
female, a pseudo-vagina makes them female, their desire to have a
womb implanted and have a baby makes them female, other women
treat them as female therefore they are female, and goodness
knows what else." The truth remains, they are primarily males that go
through a lot of effort, expense, and trauma to appear female.
There is nothing wrong with such a transition, but we shouldn't
have to jump through hoops or deceive people to
acquire what makes us happier and healthier people. We are not-quite-males
who want to live primarily as women, and, as such, we are gender variants.
We aren't females either, nor are we really pseudo-females, we are something
different, something special. For some of us the ultimate expression of our nature
is to reconstruct our bodies in emulation of females.
Examine the newly post-op transsexual. She's told, "Now you are
a woman. Go forth and blend invisibly into society. We will help
you with your necessary deceptions. You can change your sex on
your birth certificate, on your driver's license, on your college
records, and on your work record. In fact, all of society is
geared to help you deceive the world around you." Next, you are
told, "Construct a new past, one consistent with your new gender
identity. Forget everything you ever experienced as the opposite
sex and never reveal that you have had sexual reconstructive
surgery. After all, it's no one else's business." Wrong! It's the
business and rightful business of anyone who would seek you out
as a friend or a lover. The pseudo-vagina is a construction that
works poorly compared to a real vagina. It neither gives the same
degree of pleasure to a lover, nor to the transsexual. Orgasm as
either a male or a female know it is impossible and bodily
secretions, such as are present, are not the same.
In our world, when a male discovers he is uncomfortable in the role assigned to
males, there is only one other option. He leaps to the assumption
that he is a `female' trapped in a male body. It's somehow
comforting to view himself in this manner. After all, aren't his feeling about
himself more intense than other crossdressers and doesn't that give him license
to see himself as inherently different? The only viable answer to this carefully
constructed dilemma is to build a fantasy that he is a mistake of
nature. The concept that he is a perfectly healthy human being in
a society that is too young, naive, and immature to view his
differences rationally is simply not available, at least not
until now.
I fear in writing this article I appear to be attacking
transsexuals, to be denigrating them, but I am not. I myself
identify with transsexuals more than any other label, although it
fits poorly. What I am attempting is to suggest a more rational
explanation for our nature that relieves us of the essentially
self-deprecating view of ourselves as a mistake. At our best I
find we are beautiful people, every bit as beautiful as a healthy
mature male and a healthy mature female and in reality we are
neither completely male nor completely female. For lack of a
better word I use galla when describing myself and gallae, or
gender variant, when talking about the vast phenomenon of males
who present as something other than heterosexual men.
Because of the deceptions in a bi-polar society which doesn't
provide a place for us, we view ourselves as closer to female
than male. We work hard to modify our bodies, to grow breasts, to
construct a pseudo-vagina, to dress, act, and talk in the manner
of a female. We tend to make it as hard as possible for anyone to
recognize that we are or ever have been male. We are encouraged
to do so by the `gatekeepers' (the name given to the medical
professionals who either provide or deny the services we seek.)
We repudiate everything that we sense in ourselves which might
reflect masculinity, denying with vigor that there is anything
about our intellectual or emotional capacities that is not purely
female. What we fail to note is that all these modifications
wouldn't be necessary if we were so far removed from being male
as we like to imagine. Let's not take that thought too far ... it
makes us uncomfortable.
Understand, society isn't concerned about transsexuals, about us as people, it's
concerned that a transsexual's gender identity threatens the
popular concept of sex and gender. Society isn't prepared for
gender variants and the implications that comes with such
variance. If transsexuals can be viewed as simply freaks of nature, and
transvestites can be viewed as psychologically damaged men, and
drag queens as clowns, and other gender variants as ... well, as
anything except normal healthy human beings, then the facade
remains intact. Which is why the medical community not only helps
us with our deceptions, but encourages us by participating in
them. We are given anything we want, encouraged to believe
anything we feel like believing, and, in return, it is hoped we
go along with the program. Don't question anything, don't examine
anything closely, and, whatever else you do, don't ever doubt the
bi-polar construction. Just be a good little "girl" and we'll let
you play pretend with the other little girls.
The attitude of society seems to be:
Transsexuality is a vindication of gender roles and, of all
gender variations, is considered the least odious. Not that
transsexuals aren't grotesque to many people, they are, but they
are physical anomalies that can be fixed. They aren't
like queers, gay males particularly, who make us examine our
own sexual identity. Certainly they aren't screwed up like
transvestites who wear women's clothes and masturbate.
Transsexuals, born male and who wear women's clothes, have a
physical affliction. Their brains are feminine even though their
bodies are male. They are nothing like a transvestite, males who
wear women's clothes because they are inherently perverted. Still
even transvestites, as disgusting as they are, are better than
the drag queen, the guy with big tits, tons of makeup, and who
sticks his dick in everything that walks. That is the lowest of
the low.
Consider this, there are post-op transsexuals, pre-op
transsexuals, transgenderists, transvestites, cross-dressers,
drag queens, female impersonators, and she-males. Each group
represents predominantly male people who, to one extent or another,
present as women and the majority are infinitely busy persuading
themselves that they don't have anything in common with the other groups. In fact, the
other groups are generally regarded with the same lack of respect
as society holds for all gender variants. I submit this is not only
irrational, it is essentially self-destructive. Our world is
determined to keep us divided. We are encouraged to deny the
obvious connection between us. If we are fragmented, kept apart,
our differences maximized, we are vulnerable. If we ever
recognize one another as sisters, minimizing our differences, we
become stronger and, at the same time, we begin to deconstruct
bipolar definitions. We are not merely male, not merely female,
we are (O)ther. We are gallae!
Of course we are all encouraged to blend into the woodwork, to
disappear. There is the argument to practicality. It's not
practical to tell people that I'm transsexual, or a gay male, or
a lesbian. I could get fired from my job. Or if I tell a
prospective employer I might not get hired. I can't survive
outside of the closet (our euphemism for lying and hiding.) It's
true enough that some companies, a few, might fire you or not
hire you. But living a lie isn't worth what is gained. The
self-hatred that is engendered when you lie to acquire what you
wouldn't otherwise acquire reeks of self-denigration. Society
doesn't force us to lie. We chose to lie because we give in to
fear. Deception for the purpose of `practicality' is not
the behavior of a responsible mature adult. It is never
justified.
One of the points I am trying to make is that a male presenting
and living as a woman, is just that, a male presenting
and living as a woman. A is A, A is not something other than A.
Some of these males take hormones, have orchiectomies, and sexual
reassignment surgery and some do not. Some live full time as
women and some present as women only partially. Some of these
males are conflictual basket cases and some are mature stable
individuals with confidence and immense personal presence.
Does this mean there are no differences? No, but the differences
should be minimized, not maximized. In a long life, having
lived most of it openly, I have developed many friendships among
gender variants. I have been in the position of privileged
confidante. Gay males have approached me and disclosed
transsexual inclinations, as have she-males, crossdressers,
transgenderists, and transvestites. Pre-op and post-op
transsexuals all too indifferently dismiss these declarations, as
if they have no meaning unless the individual is on the high road
to transition. But they were heartfelt admissions not made
lightly and show clearly, in my opinion, the connection between
all males who live and present as women.
Should we fear honest colloquy because some people might try to
use it against us, perhaps to make laws forbidding males to have
SRS or to live as women? I think not! We have to fight one battle
at a time and the first battle is to establish our own identity
and that can't be done with deception. Of course we have a right
to alter our bodies in any manner possible, but so does every
other gender variant and we shouldn't have to view ourselves as
mistakes of nature to do so.
We do indeed have a right to alter our bodies chemically or
surgically. We also have a right to dress up flamboyantly and
prance around on a stage for entertainment. We have a right to
make love to males and/or females, so long as they want to make
love to us. We have a right to keep our houses meticulously clean
and lacy, or sloppy and dirty. We have a right to slip into a
nightgown for a comfortable nightcap before bed and then dress
and work as a man the next day.
Gender variants, males who present as women, are as much
different from women as women are from men and as much like one
another as any man is like any other man, or any woman is like
any other woman. Until and unless we recognize our commonality,
rather than emphasizing our differences, we will be at odds not
only with society, but with one another. Let us stop the
deceptions and the lies of convenience. Let us express the
reality of our natures openly, honestly, and proudly and demand
to be treated as mature adults, not disabled children. Let us
look at one another as sisters, not as dysfunctional
groups to be listed in a pecking order reflective of nothing more
significant than the intensity of our desire for body
modification; the guy in the half slip playing with
himself at the bottom and the post-op transsexual at the top.
The thoughts expressed here are not something that came easily
and they have the potential to cause some people a degree of
discomfort. Understandably, there was a bit of painful soul
searching involved in their formulation. Hopefully, however, the
final result offers a healthier way to view ourselves then what
is currently available. It may be hard to give up a bird in the
hand for one in the bush, but if the bird in the hand is a
chimera and the one in the bush is real, it becomes easier.
