He would recognize the force of the pulling, he could know himself that much. The magnetic attraction need not claim him without thought. Seb had no idea whether others knew their motivations better.
But it seemed as if he were being given a whole new being to study. Through out his decades, he'd always studied each human love of his, with immense fascination. He learned all their secrets, while revealing none of his.
Maybe this was because he didn't know his own secrets. The taboo knowledge of being an immortal blood drinker was but a surface pecularity. Or was it? Had the simple fact of having lasted 270 years and knowing he would continue altered his perspective on things? Or would it have, if he had pondered this? He had spent his days living 'moment to moment'. Perhaps it had not.
And as for the defining aspects of personality, had he ever for any length of time regarded himself with as much fascination as he'd given those temporary lovers?
As he curled up alone on the sofa, alone in thought, he marvelled at this. He lay alone and without striving. Peace seemed a reachable thing, for he felt his hand on it now.
Seb found himself deeply grateful he had ran away from the sun in time. He was surprised to find himself embracing his own self with an easy acceptance, yes, that could be called LOVE. He marvelled as the contemplation of the days ahead held a tingly excitement. Each would be new in the self-knowledge he was to gain.
But he couldn't keep this new knowledge to himself. He sought out Gwen, who had been so helpful earlier, and told her of his discovery. That she was attracted to him soothed him. He looked into her eyes, still rather golden, but tinged with green as well, seeking for her to return the gaze. She did, but then her next action surprised him. She embraced him strongly, and kissed him, kissed him like she was drawing his essence into herself.
Seb's heart pounded wildly, and he returned the kiss in the same manner, pouring all of himself into it. He'd never forgotten the advice of the woman he'd gone to, after he discovered he could no longer function as he used to, ''Your whole body is a sex organ''. She took this kiss greedily, and they went to Gwen's bedroom. A ecstacy of body exploration and pampering followed, Gwen surprised at her attraction to Sebastian.
She tried not to analyze it or make predictions for its future. She wanted the moment, THIS moment. She liked that Sebastian wanted this intimacy so badly. Maybe others saw him as damaged, for being so needy, but she found it attractive. There was no wondering about his desires, all communication was clear and simple. If he was conscious, he wanted it.
Soon their passion grew fevered, with much grabbing and clawing. The intensity grew, until a fever pitch, and then it ebbed, and was finished with tender reassuring kisses. Sebby felt like such a small, vulnerable thing in her arms. Gwen was surprised at this, and her heart welled up with love for him. He looked at her with sparkling, but scared eyes. She gave him some more reassuring kisses. He stayed curled up with her until it was time to get up.
He fluttered his eyelashes as he looked into her eyes, now more green than gold. ''Cast me not away,'' he whispered in her mind. ''I want to return again here with you. I want to cleave to you. Cast me not away!'' He begged. Gwen held him tightly, and whispered, ''I shall never cast you away! I want you forever. I only hope you want me forever!'' Seb and Gwen were tightly entwined when an unhappy Livia entered the bedroom, banging drawers as she searched for things.
''I had to sleep on the SOFA last night! The two of you were sprawled all over the bed!'' Gwen apologized, and declared, ''We can make room. Seb's skinny and doesn't take up much room!''
Livia turned to face her and screeched, ''So you're planning on having him a regular companion in our bed?'' Gwen only nodded. Livia fumed, ''Well, I wonder how long THIS will last, until he goes off roaming in search of fresh tail. Meanwhile, there is the problem of where I am to sleep.''
Livia opened a few more drawers noisily and slammed them, before she continued, ''No! I don't want to cramp myself into the leftover spaces. You've chosen him, why I don't know, so have him while he lasts.''
Gwen felt Sebby tremble in response to Livia's indictment, and stroked his back. She was certain he wanted to change his old ways. Answering Livia, hoping she didn't sound uncaring, she suggested, ''Michael is spending time in Golden's room. Sonya is all alone in Michael's room. You might share that bed!''
Livia hissed, ''Imagine, tossed out of my own bed for that, THAT DOG!'' And she spit to punctuate her statement. Gwen again stroked Sebby protectively, ''He's really trying to change. He wants to be different.''
Livia only replied, ''We'll see.'' But as she thought about the new changes, her outlook changed, ''It might not be bad to get to know Sonya better. She seems like an intelligent woman, she might be good company.''
As the days went by, this proved to be so. Both of the women had a biting sense of humor, and often howled with laughter as they entertained each other with sick jokes. When they weren't cracking jokes, they dissected world problems, and solved them with great efficiency. If only they were in charge, this world would be run right. Sonya laughed, as she told Livia of her role-playing adventure, ''Of course, I was an ancient and powerful queen. The world did my bidding. It's a role I'm born to play!''
Livia laughed, ''And I shall rule beside you! Who needs a king?'' Sonya shouted, ''Huzzah!'', and then they shouted ''Huzzah!'' in unison.
Meanwhile, Sebby and Gwen continued their tender love, and it grew. Michael and Golden were enjoying their quiet moments together, as well.
One day, Golden decided to spend some time getting to know Sonya and Livia. This left Michael free to venture into Gwen and Sebby's lair, where Gwen grabbed him, pulling him into the bed with them. Both she and Seb kissed him, and he was won over by their enthusiasm. The lonliness of his many prior decades hadn't fully healed, and their exuberant play was just the balm he needed. He didn't even discourage Seb's mouth to mouth kisses, and shyly returned one of his own.
Seb encouraged him, ''It's good you're finally loosening up. What's the big deal, male or female? We're all just human beings!'' Then he caught himself, and corrected this, ''Well, YOU know what I mean!'' Michael smiled, as he replied, ''Yes, I do. 'Enhanced' teeth, and so forth, but still just human beings under neath it all. Alien being inhabited human beings, but still, just people.''
Gwen broke in, ''I recently read a short story called 'Blood Music'. Microscopic logic circuits were inserted into one human's body, and they took over. The host was aware of all their thoughts, and soon the circuits merged with his mind. They remodeled the whole body until it was something entirely different, and spread out to other humans. I'm glad our blood bits are so much more well-behaved.''
Seb agreed, ''Wow! That's scary!'' Michael concurred, ''I wouldn't want those circuits, at all. Those were a computerized intelligence. Our blood bits are completely biological intelligence.'' And then he paused a bit and added, ''I think. I think they're just biological. They might not be. In any case, they're well behaved, and that's what matters.''
Gwen added, ''Yes, as long as we feed them, they're well behaved!'' She referred to when Michael twice scarced himself overmuch so that others could drink more. The blood bits knocked him out and took over. As she looked at Michael, she wondered if he looked a little hungry. He had a slightly vacant look in his eyes, in addition to a definite look of hiding something.
She decided to be more direct, ''MICHAEL, have you been scarcing yourself again?'' He squirmed, but did not answer. ''MICHAEL? Answer me!'' He stuttered, ''Um, ah, well, there are um SIX of us now, and I've been sharing my cows with Sonya.'' She and Seb dragged him forcefully to the stables, where they shared some of their cows with Michael.
After he drank, yes he knew he was hungry, until sufficiently satisfied, he explained, ''Well, I would have invested in more cows, but I wasn't sure how long Seb would be staying until he wandered off again.''
Seb put his hands on his hips and declared, ''Buy the cows, I'm not wandering. I'm home. I'm really learning what 'HOME' means. I'm learning what a lot of things mean. I'm not going to be making so many dumb decisions. I'm learning!''
Michael smiled, ''Okay, I'll go about it later today!'' And both he and Gwen hugged Sebastian, who had a arm around each of them.
Go to Chapter 14, Wonderfully Made
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