''But you said I don't have a smell!'' He referred to when they'd first met, and Seb was romantically exploring another of his own kind for the first time. Previously, in his 270 years, he'd only known the vastly more odorifous scents of human beings. It had dismayed him to find other blood drinkers were relatively scentless.
''Yes, I know I said that back then. But, oh, I smell the smell of hay in your hair, and the good clean fresh air has given you a 'clean' smell. And I even enjoy the smells you've absorbed from the cows you milk. You smell wonderful, wholesome and wonderful!'' And Seb put his long, hooked nose into Golden's luxurious mane and sniffed again.
Seb, too, had a magnificent mane of his own, in a bright red hue. Other than both being blood drinkers, their physical similarities ended there. Seb, being six feet, one inches and only 154 pounds, was disproportionately thin, 'scrawny' if one is unkind. Golden was of average height, five feet, ten inches, but disproportionate in the other dimension. After six months of only drinking blood and water, he was disappointed to find himself still 291 pounds. They made a cute couple, the similarities and contrasts only adding to it.
Sebastian was always the playful and attentive lover. As he'd devoted his 270 years to this, he was quite experienced. Golden, on the other hand, was only eighteen years old, still very much the ingenue. But how his feminine soul responded to Sebastian. He simply adored him with guileless passion.
Sebastian returned that passion, and Golden bloomed under his sensuous touch. He learned to enjoy his body, and the pleasure it could give him. Seb had a way of making him feel beautiful, and this he drank more greedily than he drank of his physical sustainance.
He knew he was not 'built for speed', so Golden learned to move in a subtly exaggerated slow manner, sensuously and gracefully. It was wonderful to feel himself come alive under Sebastian's gentle touch. What was coming to life within him was the miracle of his own gender. Gradually, he was coming to know it was not just his body that showed signs of being between the sexes, but his mind as well.
Rather than being frightened of this aspect, he began to experiment with it. Having seen a TV ad for a make-up kit, he sent for it. He loved to sit before a large mirror and play with the items in it. The copper colored lipstick, that was pleasing. And he liked how the mascara brought out his eyelashes. To his delight, Sebastian wasn't upset by Golden's new appearance.
Make-up wasn't his only realm of experiment. He sent for some large brocade caftans from a catalog geared to the 'fuller' figure. He spent some time, posed before the mirror, twirling this way and that, pleased with the effect. Sebby smiled at him, glad Goldie was losing his inhibitions.
As he stood before the mirror, a startling revelation shot through him like a bolt of light. If he were to know any real power in life, rather than being the depressed recluse he'd been, his strength would come to him as that of a woman. He had to sit down with the shock of it. It made him breathless.
He found his mouth opening in a perfect 'o', and he trembled. This was scary. Would it mean he would need to undergo a change of pronoun? Did 'he' not fit him anymore? But 'she'? Did he merit that? He still felt confused. Gratefully, under Seb, all such confusions evaporated. Goldie was simply the glowing entity which responded eagerly.
Meanwhile, he enjoyed his new fashion style. Pronouns could wait until later. The farm work continued as it always had. The cows little cared that the hands which milked them now wore a pretty coat of paint on their nails. But it mattered much to Golden. He knew he had to give himself totally to where his heart led him.
One morning, after a night of work, Goldie lay on his bed, Seb beside him. He pondered many things out loud to Seb, ''You know, when Michael found me, I was so desperate, I would have gone with anyone who showed me the least amount of acceptance. It didn't matter who or what they were! I was really lucky it was Michael. I could have ended up far worse than a bloodsucker!'' And he laughed.
The full reality of what he was had not hit him. So much larger in his mind were his gender issues, needing blood for sustainance and being burned by the sun seemed trifles. He'd always depended on Michael, whether it was back in his 'early days' feeding off of evil doers Michael had lured, or now, with 'little drinks' of their cows blood, he never gave this much thought. Except for the brief dismayed thought that his new restricted diet did not produce weight loss, he just drank until full.
Michael wanted it that way. He didn't want his charges to struggle as he'd had. There was no need for all the guilt, shame and fear which had tormented him through his long lonely years. He was grateful he'd had the power to change all that. Now, thanks to his resourcefulness, his family were not out in the world causing death in order to live. It was a great relief to be freed of this burden.
He was glad Golden never knew of it. He'd had enough burdens to deal with during his troubled adolescence. Growing up a hermaphrodite was extremely difficult for him, and the torment of the other teens at school excruciating for him to bear. Golden was certain Michael had saved his life, so great had been his dispair. That his life was now immortal bore no reality to him. He was not even a year old in the blood. He knew logically he was supposed to be such, but it meant nothing.
''Perhaps when I am eighty and still young looking, then it will hit me. But for now, nothing. How is it for you, Sebby? You have lived so many years. What is that like?'' Seb laughed, ''It's just one adventure after another. I do not think of it. The years go by, the fashions change, the world changes with each new invention, and I flow along with it all. It was sorrow once, when my sweet Ursula grew old before me and died, and I was still young. I miss her still. But after that, other than knowing my relationships with humans can not last more than twenty years, ere they suspect, the days flow swiftly. You get used to it.''
But these were so much foreign words to Goldie, who relaxed next to Sebby and laid his head down on his chest, listening to the strong, regular beat of Sebby's 270 year old heart.
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